I’m angry today

Sometimes I think its my husband that pisses me off, others its just others. Today I think I’m just going to blame it on my frustration.

I’m frustrated with Sam, I’m frustrated with my own husband, and I’m pissed that the grocery store can’t f’ing keep cumin in stock, let alone have it in a size more than just the tiny things of it.

I’m moody.

Mom said she’d give me a gift cert to amazon so I can get this wonderful book on bipolar I found. Kinda wish she’d hurry up with it. She was online last night, I know I got all the spammy email forwards.

She complained that my brother and step dad are jerks.. she says she tries hard to be a nice person. She doesn’t realize that she’s a control freak and if she doesn’t have it done when she says how she says its us that are in the wrong.

Pisses me off I can’t stand up for my family because I don’t want her pissed at me too. She says she isn’t happy with my brother. I find my brother just being well a 16 year old boy. Yup he’s gonna be slightly a jerk to girls (happens when your a good looking boy and can have your pick), but he’ll have to go through that phase and learn that you can’t be a jerk to a girl if you want to keep girls liking you. Sure in HS they will do what he wants as he’s “hot” and popular, but after that girls in college are going to come into their own, realize they don’t need the hot jerk of a boy to boss them around, there are plenty of others to choose from. He’ll learn.

I’m rambling. Mostly avoiding the topic of sam.

I don’t think he realizes how much he has hurt my feelings.

Maybe I should just tell him.

stupidly I’m afraid to.