Lost in L.A.

 I totally got lost wandering around the streets of downton L.A. today.

stupid lost angeles.

I had to bring in muffins for our little "Thanksgiving breakfast" and I forgot them at home. I guess I know what the children will have for breakfast this weekend!

Anyhow, I didn’t want to come in empty handed so I made a detour from my normal route to go to the grocery store that was SUPPOSED TO BE right next to the subway station. Well, I exited at the metro station (I have never exited there before) and I was instantly lost. I had no idea where I was. All those big ass buildings and nothing looked familiar and how the hell did I end up on Wilshire? And why am I here! And why are there HILLS!

I DON’T REMEMBER HILLS!

oh lord the homeless people are going to EAT ME!!!!!

yeah, I’m a paranoid loon.

*TANGENT TIIIIIIME!!!!*  And really, I’d be soooo fucked if the zombies decided to descend while I was out here. I’d be doomed. One thing that I hated about the Zombie Land movie was that they were in Hollywood and near downtown LA and there were HARDLY enough zombies. I mean, this area would be saturated zombie HELL. I need to get a better exit strategy…. I always figure I’d run down to the metro tunnels and hopefully avoid most of them and run up to North Hollywood where my car would be. But that’s jsut bad. Bad bad bad. I should be able to hi-jack a buss… WOW. what a tangent. Back to the regular story!

Anyway, I wandered around for about 15 minutes hoping I’d see something familiar… and as soon as I thought I did, it turned out to be NOT familiar at all.

I soon felt like I was gonna be doomed and lost all day because I’d never even be able to find the damn subway entrance again… when it dawned on me.

DUH.

My phone has gps and google maps!

wheee!

So with one little battery bar left (my phone is dying and holds a charge for less and less time) I turned it on and figured out my route. My phone promptly died (thank god I had already called and told them I was going to be late!) because the google maps application is a power sucker. or the gps is.

whatever.

At least I knew what direction to head in, which was OPPOSITE the way I was presently heading.

I’m sure I looked clueless and ridiculous.

So I found the store and got more muffins and waited another 10 minutes for a bus to come (thank god I knew which one ot take!) and now i’m here.

at work.

and my legs HURT.

I definitely got a work out.

so at least there is that!

I have a consumer report for you… DO NOT BUY THE GILLETE RAZOR WITH THE 5 BLADES.

You know the one. I forget what it’s called.. Embrace?

Yeah, I just looked it up.

The Venus Embrace is BULL HONKEY MADNESS!

And it lies.

It doesn’t work.

I think the blades are so small that they don’t REALLY do what they say they will do.

How do I know?

WELLLL,

the last time I was in Wal Mart I needed blade replacements for my Venus. I love my 3 bladed Venus. It works super awesome and the swivel head is awesome.

However, Wal Mart was a dumb butt and didn’t have any cartridges for the kind I use. YOU DUMB BUTT!!!

So rather than buy the large pack of blades for TWENTY BUCKS, I just bought a new razor in a sale pack for half of that. Ugh, why so expensive?!

Anyway, I was excited to try it. I mean, if three blades is awesome, five must be SUPER AWESOME.

Well they aren’t.

I usually have smooth legs and pits and vaginary (lol vaginary!!!!) for about about 2 to 3 days. NOT SO WITH THIS DAMN FIVE BLADED FAILURE.

Nope, I have prickles and itchy vaginary nodules within ONE DAY.

Yeah, it lasts for about 6 hours after the shave and then i’m prickly and gross and glaring.

I do not want to have to shave every damn night.

It’s annoying and my skin gets irritated.

I also don’t want to be left prickly and non delicious if Baboo happens to want to cop a feel and give me some peni.

PENI!!!!!

So there, I’ve warned you.

Save your money.

Get the regular one. I sometimes use the Divine blades because they have that extra little moisture strip and I notice the difference…

but regardless…. DON’T BUY THE EMBRACE.

that is all.

I should go do work,

I don’t get a l unch break today because of my stupid side trip this morning.

ugh.

(this entry was started around 8:00 AM… now it’s 10:05. I dealt with a crazy  man yelling at me on the phone and had the thanksgiving breakfast (which was delicious) and now i’m saving. It better save!!!!)