Khan

I had a dream last night that I was living in an apartment, a small, tiny little apartment with beautiful city views. And in it, my old friends that I don’t have anything to say to anymore, lived with me. We had to share a bed because there was only one bedroom, but we loved it and we loved each other and when I woke up, I really missed them.
I’ve been on autopilot lately, so I haven’t really felt all the loneliness that is sitting beneath the surface of everything. I’ve been working, granted not as much as normal (and since when did 60 hours a week become normal anyway??), and playing video games and watching Death Cab For Cutie documentaries (in which my house was in the background of, I almost died). They shows these photos of buildings or cross streets in Seattle, of the Gengis Khan down on first, which has horrible food, of the Korean store near my house, and a little part of me screams “look, it’s home!”, but realize that its not home for long.
I don’t really know. I’m complacent, living in this, I guess. My mom is coming to visit me tomorrow and staying almost until I leave to go to Korea, and when I get back from Korea, Julie is coming to visit for almost a week, and then I’m 21 and in training until April. It seems as if blocks of my life are just being counted by the events that are happening in them, something to mark the passing of time.
When all is said and done I’m leaving here in less than six months and that is just scary. And sad. I love Seattle.