Jealousy

So yeah. One of my friend’s is married. One is engaged. Two are getting married this year, and everyone has babies.

This whole “Sarah’s having a baby” thing is making me think about my own life… how close I was to getting married and now I’m alone, so far away from meeting a guy, getting married, or having kids.

I know, I know… I’m still in school and I don’t finish til December. I don’t need a baby now, nor do I need a man… and quit looking for one because he’ll show up when I’m least expecting it… yadda yadda.

I always want “the next step”… never happy with what I have, never able to enjoy the here and now.

Fuck, I don’t know.

So maybe I don’t want a baby, but I’m losing my best friend in the city. We were close because we were so much alike… both like to party and drink and do drugs and spend money retardedly… and now she’s going to be a mom. A single mom. A single, broke ass mom.

Sarah sleeps over like 3 times a week… we hang out every day. How will that change things?

I’m mourning the loss of my friend. I’m jealous and lonely.

On the plus side, I get to plan a baby shower. *shrugs*

In other news, reading week is a bust. I have a list as long as my arm of things to do… no time to rest, blah blah blah.

My old job accidentially paid me $800-something dollars and I called and told them instead of being a cunt and taking the money.

I need to do groceries but its snowing like a motherfucker out there.

I work tomorrow at 2. My rabbit’s teeth need trimmed and I have laundry to do.

My cat is pissing somewhere in my apartment and I’m not impressed. Cat piss is the dirtiest smell ever.

So I’m going to Illinois this summer [probably May] to meet my very first OD friend. I’m excited… I’m driving through Michigan, Indiana, and then Illinois so if anyone is on the way let me know! 🙂

Okay, I’m off to do groceries. I’ll write again later.