A day late*

and a dollar short…

Still numb and starting to feel the effects of a depression cloud brewing around and trying to cling it’s sharp claws on me. I’m thankful that we have had a fantastic run of Indian summer days, however, the weather is now changing, the fir is dropping it’s needles, the mice are trying to bunker down in our cabin, the days are getting darker and shorter and my blue days are beginning. I’m crying at the drop of a hat. Hurrican Ike..well, he made me cry, I felt so sorry for all those people. A man in the harbor here drove his car right through the Harbor Inn at a speed of 75 miles an hour-The police reported it was a sucide. I cried for this man too.

I haven’t cried about my job situation yet. The tears just are’nt coming. The administrator finally hired a new Health Services Director. I was elated for three days and then my bubble of happiness deflated on the fourth day because the new nurse tripped over her dog at home and broke her arm in a spiral fracture–the worst kind. So I have been backed into a corner again doing my job and now her job too. I’m so sick and tired of this rigmarole and to make matters much worse for me we are going to have our STATE SURVEY ANY DAY NOW. Two-three department of health nurses will be coming to our facility unannounced to scrutinize everything for three lonnnnnng days. Everyone has been walking on pins and needles for three weeks now. Rumor had it that when the fire marshal comes to do his thing, a week later the department of health will come and do their thing. Not true this time around. The fire marshal did his thing three weeks a go and yet no nurses followed his path. I’m sure they will be visiting on tuesday. I just want to get it over with already…..

Now back to the the mice

Gawd! I really and I mean REALLY hate mice. They just absoultely freak me out. Years ago, I was baking a cake and had just slapped on a thick layer of creamy thick cherry frosting, I proudly display it on the table when all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye I noticed a mouse was stuck ontop of the cake and munching away–f-r-e-a-k=e=d me out. —shivers– So anyways, my husband is at the cabin today and is staying the night to deal with our country visitors. I’m here at the homefront alone and battling my own demons.

back to my depression

I’m not going to get the happy pills this go around. I’m not a very good pill taker which is weird because I pass out hundrends of pills a day to my little old and lovely residents but I can’t freaking remember to take my one little syntroid pill each morning.

I’m going to ride out the storm of depression on my own without the help of designer Seratonin.

My baby sister is prodding me to join her in participating in our tribes annual powwow. She wants me to dance in our grand entry. You can wear your white buckskin regalie…she said. I have refused for the past 6 years. Maybe sister is right. It would be very healing for me to be among the other dancers and perhaps my spirit will be lifted.

Here is a pic of my regalia

I made this slide show today…it makes me smile. Hope you enjoy it too.