My Final Hour.

Status Report

Wearing: My hoodie!

Feeling: Tired, but energetic

WinAmp is playing: Frantic – Metallica

Last ate: Last night. I think I made a sandwich out of cold cuts and stuff. It was yummy

Entry Start Time: 7:25 AM

Based on Esther’s “Senses”.

In a mere hour, I’ll carry Lisa Electron over to the van. Everything else in my room has been shipped to the van. I made two trips last night to ease the burden of having to lug everything myself. Amusingly, it really hasn’t been that bad. I got up at 6 PM. Aside from Lisa Electron, I’m DONE. The funny part is that I can’t leave until after 8:30. That’s when Housing opens, and I think it would be a good idea to give the key to the room back. Personally, I’d just keep it over the summer, but they wouldn’t like that. I still have the little thing which the key and slashcard came in. I’ll give it back to them with it. *smiles*

I didn’t really have a chance to just sit and relax, last year. I mean, while moving out. It was pretty rush-rush. I got my ass out in the evening, with my dad helping me. I was more concerned with getting away from Ahab than anything else. He was leaving after me, and decided to get the room checked. Which, wore on my mind. I didn’t trust that bastard. He gives bastards a bad name.

I’ve gotten very lucky having a single this semester. See, this room is a double, but my (second) roommate lost housing. So. *smiles* I’ve had the ENTIRE room to myself, to do with as I please. I moved the second desk right next to this desk, giving me TWICE THE ROOM TO PUT CRAP ON. The other bed? I began piling crap on it. The spare chair? Hang towels on it and otherwise put crap on it. Other dresser? I put it in the closet, and put my dresser in front of it. TWICE THE ROOM TO PUT CRAP ON. You can only accumulate crap of you have a place to put it. Thankfully, the only things I can accumulate in college are trashable. I don’t really put crap on the floor. The only crap that’s accumulated on the floor is dust. Mixed with my hair.

Funny thing is, my room in the condo is much smaller than this room. Once I move all my shit into that room, THERE’LL BE NO ROOM. I might end up leaving shit in boxes. I know the one box of random shit, I can put under my bed. Where else am I going to put it? I still have boxes from when I moved last year. (Out of my old house, that is.)

*yawns*

But, none of this matters. Me being shipped back to my parent’s place is a blip on the radar, in the grand scheme of things. In 19 and a half hours, I’m meeting Hairbrush. The Moment of Anticipation is certainly something to savor. It’ll feel so good to be with a girl. It’ll feel so good to be with her. It doesn’t even feel like I have to do much. I mean, at least in theory, relationships should seem effortless. It doesn’t feel like I’ve put any special effort into seducing her. We’ve gotten closer because I’ve wanted to. We don’t have our Saturday phone conversation out of any obligation. “Oh great, gotta phone the girlfriend…” I do it because I like talking to her. I email her compulsively, because that’s the type of person I am. I want to just let go, be without worry.

And I am. She lets me be free. She doesn’t just tolerate me. She embraces me. I have a feeling it’ll take about a month for me to completely commit myself to her. Yes, I should keep my guard up, to some degree. But, I don’t think I should hold back, emotionally. Whatever, I’ll do whatever I feel comfortable doing. I have a feeling we’ll be very comfortable with each other. I want that. I want to just cuddle together, without a care in the world. I want to know that, Yes, this girl will be my girlfriend. And that I will fall in love with her.

I’m almost trying to savor what it feels like right now. Knowing her just as I know her. So I’ll be able to compare it to after we meet. I know from past experience with meeting people I’ve met online – it doesn’t take me long to get a sense for people. I trust my ability to judge people’s character, and otherwise read what they’re thinking. Body language and such.

I know this will work out, even if I’m nervous about exactly how it be. Everything’s been perfect, so far. Perfect without even trying. If this relationship works out, I’ll attribute it’s success to communication. When there’s a problem, she expresses it. Same with me. You can’t hold back in a relationship. Honesty. Trust. Reliability. Compromise. Communication, communication, communication. …Damn, I’m feeling sappy right now.