Direction.

It is bright and sunny out. How fitting.

I tend to feel better once I face whatever is bothering me. For months, I’ve been aware that I hadn’t a clue what I’d do after this May. That’s stressful. That’s uncertainty. That’s the unknown, and I tend to be terrified of the unknown.

I have a loose plan of action now, which I don’t feel like detailing at this juncture. I know what I’m not doing. I’m not working full time at Ye Olde Bell. That sounds rather depressing! I recall working full-time at Panera eventually wore me out and ate my soul. I am not taking any classes next fall. Whatever it is I need to finish can wait until spring. It makes no difference. Moreover, I’m sick of school, and I need more time to do Other Things.

Yes, that undefined variable which I’ve been avoiding immensely over the years. I will do more Other Things. Hard to spend a summer doing Other Things. But turn that window into six or eight months, and suddenly anything is possible. I owe it to myself to try and move beyond myself, just a little.

The burn I sustained two Sundays ago is healing nicely now. Still itches. I’ve been slathering it with lotion to avoid it getting dry. Capillary reflex is very fast, and basic nerve sensation seems to be functional. I’m expecting it to leave a mild discoloration, but otherwise go back to normal.

The warm weather has yielded half-naked females. Cleavage Season is in full bloom. (Which is always coupled with YouKnowYouWantToLookUpMySkirtAndSeeMyPantiesOrLackThereof Girls. Ahem.) How distracting. I’m surprised nobody has created a shirt that says “Stare at my boobs, they’re awesome.”

I was stressing a few days ago about creating a resumé. Cue me remembering that I already have one. I just had to update it. Much easier to update something than it is to start from scratch. I discussed this with a friend, and she showed me a more elaborate way of doing a resumé. I intend to take what I have and create another resumé using this template. If anything, it will give me an opportunity to practice bullshitting. Did you know I can initiate multiple activities with maximum efficiency? Yes. I multi-ask. Also, I adhere strongly to the basic principles of food safety. Yes, I wash my hands. (I’m also Captain FIFO – I’m sure I’ll find a way to write that out.)

I’m doing my persuasive speech on Barack Obama. I have a basic outline done, though it needs work. I got that done so my teach could look it over today. Good thing. I’m due to go first on Monday. I’m feeling like I can do this. That’s a good thing – as opposed to feeling the inverse. The early process of doing this had me thinking about why I got interested in him in the first place. McCain isn’t THAT bad, he’s just gone to the dark side of the republican party. Hillary isn’t THAT bad, I just personally dislike her and would prefer voting for Bill. That said, she suggested I avoid talking about other candidates. Her suggestion made me think of something else: He’s run pretty much a positive campaign. As such, a speech about him should remain so.

Commenced with Spring Shearing yesterday. As much as I enjoy not-shaving, there is something to be said for having that freedom of being able to have a shaved nutsac anyway. Just for the hell of it. Left a triangle on my pubis because I tend to let that go anyway. It’s good to be able to appreciate the inverse of a preference. I can’t see ever shaving my pits again. There’s no point, nothing to gain. (Typical me being uncommon: I used to shave my pits – for four years.)

Experimentation. Exploration. At least I’m comfortable with my body, I sense it’s something not everybody has achieved. No, I tend to be more uncomfortable with things outside my body. Doing something outside of my field of knowledge. I understand lots of people are afraid of interviews. I’m more scared of calling someone, than of an interview. Maybe it is my ability to read people. I just feel very calm when I’m talking to someone face-to-face in that kind of situation. Maybe it’s the absoluteness of it. A date, a time, a place. Knowables.

Gym frequency has dropped down to one day a week. I’ll allocate energy towards that in a few weeks.

Oh. Girl I work with, Laura, asked if I’d GOTO Medieval Times with her. She has free tickets that expire at the end of May, and she doesn’t know anybody else that would be into it. I recall going there in 6th grade. It is a blur in my head, but I’d love to go ahead. We agreed we’d do it after the semester ended. I actually ran into her on okcupid, and her numbers aren’t that bad. Rather consistent with the positive read I’ve had on her. I have no romantic interest, but I’ve sensed consciousness in her. I’m intrigued. I’ll be breaking my Don’t Socialize With Coworkers Rule, but rules are meant to be broken.

Feeling calm. Never underestimate the importance of having a sense of direction.