That doll.

Frankly, I am amazed that so many of my readers commented on the doll in the background of one of the pictures posted in the last entry.  I suppose I saw it too but it was unremarkable and I didn’t think of it when I picked that picture to post.

The house we are eating in is one of my students’ mother’s house.  In one of the pics, one can see the nabe pot, the communal cooking pot we all got our bowls of stuff from.  Nabe is (of course) a noodle dish.  The soup is boiling vigorously and one places their raw pork or beef into the roiling water for just  a brief amount of time before pulling it out and placing it on the noodles or rice in one’s own bowl.  It is a very communal dining experience that makes for a kind of bonding between the diners.  Korean BBQ is much the same.

One thing I liked about Japan is that when you went out with a group to eat or drink, everyone participated- was There.  Of course at the larger or more casual get togethers people would split off into groups or pairs, and some would become wallflowers, but Nabe is very much a fun and friendly way to hang out with your friends.

I first met 3 of the 4 women pictured in 1985 at an English Coffee Salon I worked in.  I was the Conversation Coordinator and the whole point of the place was to give Japanese people the chance to actually use the language they had been taught for six years in school- more if they went to college.  The going rate for English Instructors was rather high in the mid 80’s, but SanMihal was a members club and as such they couldn’t afford to pay more than (based on the then exchage rate) $10 an hour.  Some of the instructor jobs I had paid 35 or 40 bucks an hour.  I was working 22 hours a week and making more money than I ever had before (or since…)

Anyway, I met three of these women when we were all in our younger 20’s.  When I went back to Kobe in 93, these three and a few others came to me and asked me to give them private lessons and the continued chance to use this foreign language that they’d spent so much time and effort aquiring.  By then the going rate for private lessons was 5000-10,000 yen or somewhere around 50 to 100 dollars.  I could not in good conscience charge them that much, and have them pay for dinner and drinks, and this and that.  Being an English instructor in Japan was very much a spoiling affair- teachers are just about the highest status individuals in the social hierarchy,  thus when you are providing them with this valuable service, custom and etiquette require that the students treat the teacher.

Well, I personally didn’t feel comfrotable with that much largesse from people who were paying me to do my job- and they were friends, old friends, so I only charged them 1000 yen an hour each for a group session..  Although we got together every other week and hung out for hours, I only held them to an hour each.  I felt mildly guilty about it sometimes, because here I was hanging out with 4 or 5 attractive females who were buying me shots and sushi and….We had some fun experiences together and traveled to zoos and department stores and parks, using English most of the time.  I learned a lot of Japanese from them too, and a lot about the social ideals of the region we lived in.  We exchange Christmas and New Years cards, and my ex-wife keeps them up to date on my life. As a matter of fact, K* took over the class when I left and shares pictures and stories from her summer visits with them to this day.

Hmm, I guess it’s coming on twenty years that I’ve known them….I lke that.

ANYWAY, the Christmas parties were at one of the women’s homes and the doll was there when I got there.  It was not particularly unusual to see those kind of dolls around.  The shape and form and expression of the doll had significance beyond my understanding, so after awhile, I just didn’t see them.

But so many of you did!

Cool.

Shows I’ve had an interesting life after all.

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