the 23rd

51 is not such a big deal as 50 was, I’ve noticed.

My birthday is in two weeks, and I all but forgot about it until just now.

51. Well, 2 weeks to go, so I haven’t made it yet, and I am surprised to be here, kind of. 4-23 is another kind of "birthday" too – it will be, this April, 15 years since I wrecked my car on the Morrison Bridge. I nearly died then and was "reborn", in a way; they didn’t expect me to live, at first.

These anti-depressants must be working, since I’m not obsessing over how little I’ve advanced in those 15 years.

***

15 years. I have been in this apartment for more than 14 years. I feel like I drifted for most of the first 36 years and washed up here and haven’t moved since.

Well, I haven’t moved – I have lived here longer than anywhere else in my life, but I also feel like I haven’t moved in life very much.

(keep going with these thoughts and I’ll overpower those anti-depressants too quickly, eh?)

***

5 am, and I’m up "late" again. I did sleep a lot of Friday away; we saw the biggest storm in weeks pass through, and rain pelted the windows all day; it wasn’t until 8:30 pm or so that I went out.

To get a take and bake pizza. Along the way, I had an interesting experience. A couple of them, as a matter of fact.

First, I stopped at Plaid Pantry and got a pack of smokes. I never smoke in my car, so I stood outside the store, smoking. I saw a woman come out of the Thai restaurant next door and put a bag in her car, and then she turned to got into the Plaid Pantry. She was a good looking woman, so without a plan, I asked her if the food was any good there. We had a short conversation, one not at all unpleasant.  She went on into the store and another woman came by, and we had a nice talk while her friend went in the store,

I had a smile on my face as I drove to the pizza place and a nice glow – "I talked to some pretty woman!"

(lol)

I got to the pizza place and stood around after I ordered and talked to another woman, who kept talking to me (I am always a bit surprised by that).

A nice, good thing about taking these anti-depressants!

I’m not hideous – ugly – and I have, I’m told, a nice voice, and I can hold up a conversation, most of the time, and I drove home feeling all giddy and happy and very pleased with my outing into the world.

I should probably try that again and get out of my cave more.

***

I got a $25 gift card for Target for Christmas, and since my waist has expanded after turning 50, almost none of my pants fit any more, so I figured I’d go to Target and see if I could get any new pants. (I looked ’em up online before I went too) I got a new pair of Khakis for $15 and had ten dollars left on the card; I picked up a pack of six pairs of socks too. (which I needed too)

 

The woman at the check-out was about my age, and I said something nice to her about her hair and was surprised to learn I had two dollars left on the gift card. I walked away feeling very good – although whether it was the successful shopping or whether it was the nice conversation, I’m not sure.

I felt good about both things… but I guess the socks and khakis will last longer.

Although… I suppose I can build on the conversation thing a bit, and that’s a good reason to get out of my apartment more, maybe.

***

I’ll have to take a picture or two – my beard had come in so well that I trimmed it so it would all look even. I still cut my own hair, so now it’s a half-inch all around – hair on my head and hair on my face. it’s all half an inch long now.

It looks good to me; I’ll have to take a picture.

Which I CAN do now… all six sets of rechargeable batteries were dead Thursday when I tried to use one of my cameras.

Here’s one from last year about this time:

*****