a couple of things

 As I mentioned yesterday, dreaming is back.  I like it.  It seems like I haven’t been dreaming for a long time.  I don’t recall the dream, exactly, but it was a good one, this morning, before the alarm rang, and I got up happy.

Nice!  I like it!

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When I began taking the Zoloft a month and a half ago, I gave up drinking booze.  The cautions and warnings for the med say that one can drink "moderately" – so did the doc – but I took it as a way of dropping that whiskey bottle and not picking it up again.  Shortly before I began this chapter of my life, I gathered up the recycling to take downstairs to the recycling bins, and was shocked, horrified, really, to gather up four empty fifths of bourbon, and looking over at the kitchen counter to see a fifth fifth, less than half-full, waiting to be emptied.  I didn’t pour it out – waste good whiskey? but I did not replace it when it was gone.

In the last month and a half, I have had just two cans of Smirnoff flavored malt-beverage drinks – nothing compared to a gallon of bourbon a month.  One can, one night, and not all that recently either.  I’ve always tended to be a binge drinker, and when I realized it wasn’t binging, it was every damn day, I got worried.

No empties to be recycled and none on the kitchen counter; none at all in my apartment, and I’m making progress.  My dad died from drinking, indirectly.  He fell and hit his head and woke me up, the oldest son, who was shocked to see his dad all covered in blood and slumped on the floor, and who, good Boy Scout that he was, used his recent First Aid merit badge knowledge to clean up his dad and to help him upstairs.  He went to the hospital a few days later and died less than a week later of a cerebral hemorage.  (sp)

It could be helping out on the dreaming thing, not drinking; either way, I like myself this way better.

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I’m still a night cat; I kinda miss my newspaper distribution job, when I drove around between midnight and five am, the streets mostly mine, and a smile on my face.  I noticed last night that I was HAPPY and smiling and feeling GOOD.  I’ve always been a kind of vampire with the hours I feel most alive, but I do like to see the bright morning light too.  Like now.  I got up at nine and the sun is out, peeking through the clouds in the east.  It’s not totally overcast and grey (which it is often here).  That helps brighten my day too.

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Today I will try to sell that silverware

*****