an accelerating pace

The Job Developers took my request to look for something that involves caring for others completely seriously – not as a sole objective, but as a part of my job search. I got an email this morning from a place they applied to for me, working as a Mentor and Life Coach for people with cerebral palsy. They applied also to a company distributing cleaning supplies and janitorial supplies, using a company vehicle on specific routes, and that would be good too. They are not taking a "shotgun" approach to my job search, but rather one tailored to my past and my present abilities.

I think I am on "the right path".

***

I was watching a TV show at my biker friend’s house the other night. Two groups of "geniuses" were being assigned problems to overcome – a kind of reality show competition. While it was sort of interesting, enough to watch it because there was nothing else on, one thing that I noticed was that many of the contestants had IQ’s the same or lower than mine was.

"Was" is the operative word here, because the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) that I received in the car wreck in 1998 cost me nearly 30 points on the IQ Scale – I’m just above 100 on that scale now. I used to wish I was "more like other people", and have apparently gotten my wish.

There is something to that expression, "Be careful what you wish for; you might get it".

No bragging or anything, no, and I totally believe that there is a fundamental difference between being "smart" and being "intelligent". I was not ever really "smart" enough to use my intelligence for much besides knowing things and making connections. My brother was raised in my shadow, effectively, when my parents were alive, and it was very hard for me when he became the favored one after they died because of his real artistic abilities. I felt like "they" said, "Oh, Kat is intelligent, he’ll be ok, but his brother is such a good artist! and he needs help – you know how artists are." He was definitely more favored by the estate than I was, which really upset me. I knew I was effectively "living a lie", that I wasn’t all that "smart", that just because you’re highly intelligent doesn’t mean you know what to do with it. I was scoring above the 14th grade in Junior High School, but so flippin’ what. Scoring highly on tests doesn’t mean much more than you are perhaps capable of "more"; it doesn’t mean you know what to do with it.

Being "intelligent" left me more open to Depression, I think. I certainly know I was more depressed, that Depression has been a life-long companion on this journey, and not a welcome one. I needed help and still need it.

The "care-giving" positions I am looking at now are a way for me to "care" for others, and being a Mentor and a Life Coach to people who need it appeals to me very much – maybe I can help "them" and help myself too. Whoever They might be.

I have Life Experience to share.

***

Things are progressing more rapidly.

Onwards.

 

*****