Hawthorne Village is an evil evil place!

Hawthorne Village is a company that makes pretty things for collectors. I am not a collector and I hate shopping. (Yes, I know, I am every man’s dream woman! lol) I grew up in a house that my family had been in for 80 years with my daughter being the 5th generation to live in it. It was a big house, big enough to be split into 2 apartments back in the 40’s and it has always had at least 2 but usually 3 generations living in it. And believe me, 5 generations in one house can collect a whole lot of stuff in 80 years! Living like that all my life until I got here has made me appreciate a more ‘minimalist’ decorating style and not just because we can’t afford anything anyway! LOL!

My point, though, is that I am not a collector. All these brochures I would get from Hawthorne Village advertising statuette, plate, train, ornament, or whatever collections did not spark my interest at all. They are only dust collectors to me.

But one day about this time two years ago, this brochure came advertising a Christmas Village, and not just any Christmas Village. It was for the Rudolph Christmas Village featuring the characters right out of the animated ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ show we all grew up with. You know the one I mean, the one with Sam the Snowman narrating, and Herbie the elf/dentist-wannabe, the Bumble putting the star on the tree, and of course Rudolph and Clarisse. *blissful sigh*  Yeah, that one. Of course the houses were $55 apiece and with 6 kids, we were always broke and we sure didn’t need this village. But oh, it was pretty and fun and I just LOVE Christmas! I couldn’t seem to throw the pamphlet out.

Finally I decided it was only 4 houses and they only came in every other month and after weeks of trying to talk myself out of it, I quit and just sent in the order! Dennis laughed when he found out. He had known all along I would eventually give in by the way I reacted when I saw the village and didn’t even want to hear my rationalizations for buying it, and I had a truckload of them! lol. It was a little difficult to come up with the payments, but it was only 4 houses and by my calculations, it would be paid off by Valentine’s Day 2005.

In the summer of 2006 and 16 houses later, (yes, that’s right I said 16!!) I finally had to cry "uncle" and demand they cancel my account! Every time another house came, I said to myself that this must be the last one! I mean really! How many more houses can they come up with that were never in the TV show?? For crying out loud, I don’t remember the North Pole General Store in the show!!! Talk about reaching for ideas to keep me paying money!

And didn’t Dennis think it was just hilarious? Oh yes, I had to endure the teasing every month (oh yeah, and what happened to the ‘every other month’ deal?) and didn’t we keep getting advertisements all the time for ornaments, and keepsake trains, and oh yeah, my favorite, paintings of houses ON houses. I don’t get that no matter how much I try to figure it out. Why put a painting of a house ON a house? And then make a collection of them to boot?

I opened every advertisement though just for the laughs. Oh no, I’d say. They had sucked me in good once but I wasn’t gonna fall for it again. Signing up with them for a collection was a lifetime sentence! I did nearly falter once when they sent the Munster Halloween Village though. I’ve always loved that show and Lilly Munster is my idol and the house on Mockingbird Lane is one I’d love to get my hands on and restore! LOL! But no, I wasn’t doing that again. Even if the village did light up, make spooky sounds and come with Grandpa and that crazy car! No I wouldn’t do it again! It took me weeks to throw the pamphlet out and I hated doing it but I just had to! It was like being on a diet with a box of my favorite Little Debbie swiss roll cakes in the fridge. It was torture to have that temptation. So out went the pamphlet, but oh! It hurt!

Life went on again and I adapted. lol. I was strong and bitter about being conned so easily and it kept me from giving in and getting the Munster village. And every time a new ad came in, we’d laugh. Oh no, they weren’t getting their hooks into me again! I have learned my lesson!

But there is a new pamphlet on my table now and I am just having the hardest time throwing it out. It is yet another Christmas Village which I certainly do not need. I don’t have the room for the few I have now. And God knows, we have better things to do with our money, and I know damn well it will be more than the 4 houses shown in the ad, but it’s MAYBERRY!!!  With Andy and Opie and Barney and Aunt Bea! And there’s the Courthouse, and Floyd’s Barbershop and the police car! And say it ain’t so…Andy’s house all decorated for Christmas and the porch where they sit outside at night listening to the crickets after a big homecooked meal….oh how could they be SO cruel? It’s just not fair to play on my weaknesses like that! 

Yes, Hawthorne Village is an evil evil place!!!