Let’s start at the very beginning…

Well this is fun. My manager at work (who is a supremely excellent person) told me about this OpenDiary business, and since I seem to have trouble with this whole "let’s talk about feelings" thing, I thought I’d give this a try.

Well, first attempt is coming along. I can’t for the life of me figure out how to make this look all pretty and jazzy, but hooray for trying new things.

Now, I’m not going to lie or anything, but I’ve never been able to keep a diary for longer than two weeks. I seem to be a very flitty person and keeping something alive, unless it’s a dog or a person, is something of a challenge. I don’t even know if this is going to work out.

Anyway, onto life news. I have been cast as the title role of NKCP’s production of "Anne of Green Gables". A normal person would be super excited, considering that this is the first time I’ve ever auditioned for something outside of high school, but to be quite honest, I’m incredibly stressed out. I have never, NEVER EVER in my life had the lead in a musical, or anything. I’ve never had acting training, hell I’ve never even taken DRAMA! And yet, these people seem to think that I can handle this role.

And I know that there are so many people in the cast right now who would be dying for this opportunity but I don’t think anyone else understands how unworthy I feel. I know people are always saying that this just proves how much talent I have, blah blah blah, but no one ever HEARS what I want to say! I have yet to find someone who can understand how completely nervous I am, how stupid I feel when Laurie (the director) tells me something that obviously everyone else knows, how completely inadequate I am for the part.

And the sad thing is, I KNOW that I sound like some prima donna who has everything that she ever wants and still complains, BUT I’M NOT! That couldn’t be further from the truth! My self-confidence is non-existent! GAR!

Oh rants, you are too fun. And therapeutic.

First entry, OVER AND OUT!