point of a pound at a time..

I tried, and again, ended up frustrated. I made pasta with sauce and veggies. He comes home with alcohol, candy, icecream, garlic bread, etc. Cooks meat to add to the pasta (I don’t cook or eat it), and makes a face at my veggies. Whatever. I have to do what I have to do, and he can have all the candy and garlic bread. I just can’t do it. I have to be that girl, who watches what she eats. Because even though he doesn’t understand it, and even though he thinks I look fine though I am overweight, I don’t feel good about myself.

I had oatmeal for breakfast, rice and carrots for lunch, leftover veggie fajitas and half a bowl of pasta. I can do this, with everything against me. As frustrated as I am, and unsupported, and as gross and out of shape as I feel, I can resist that bowl of bread. That second beer. I have to. And when he wants to just order a pizza, I have to remind him that we will always be broke if we keep spending such a ridiculous amount of money on food.

I told him to get a bottle of wine tonight to celebrate him passing test, and I hope he forgets about it.

These are rules I should have kept from the beginning, now I’m just confusing and annoying myself.