Blue

I’m Still Blue 🙁

I am still so sad 🙁

I don’t know why, though because

I have everything a woman desires.

I just feel very overwhelmed lately

and tired…oh so tired. Maybe I

have all these pent up emotions

like anger, resentment, anxiety

and exhaustion that have developed

in me and had no form of self-expression

to come out throughout these years. I think its best

to let them all out of my system

before they make me crash.

I have been through so much within the past

three weeks now…with Jury Duty woes, a

demanding boss, a loud-mouthed opinionated co-worker,

a critiquing Mom, a nosey brother, and to top it all off…A Read Across America Program I have to address

tomorrow with over 500 kids coming over to listen to

me read to them, a security guard who quit but came

back because an angry mother went to complain to Vader that he threw her kids out of the library. I don’t even want anyone to wish me a Happy Birthday 🙁 I feel

that excluding my parents and Alex everyone else is just so hypocritical, demanding, and condescending :-/

These are just my feelings. I know deep inside I am wrong but hey! That’s what I feel.

I have to work now so I’ll finish this

entry at work if I am able to.

I feel sad about the unfairness in life:(

I feel sad because I don’t feel that people don’t appreciate the nice things I do at work…not even a bouquet of flowers from the Library Board in appreciation of doing the Story Hour sessions every Month on Saturdays…not even a card of recognition:(

I am sad because of all the rude parents that come to the library and demands that we bend over backwards for them 🙁

I am sad because mean folks get away with things and

often get treated just as well as other folks who are honest and have worked hard all their lives and still they get jipped.:(

The list keeps getting long. Mom says that if I get this way with a man I will live alone for the rest of my life 🙁 I can’t help it. I wonder if Alex can still love me even when I am this obnoxious ?

I know I will love him regardless of what his moods are…if he hollers I know enough to hug him and leave him alone for awhile till he calms down…but I will support him. Good Lord! I’m terrible! I’ve done nothing but bitch all week long, sneer at people, cry and go to bed early. I am sorry if I have offended anyone and will be the kind and good-natured person I really am soon.

I know and I am sorry that there are others more unfortunate than I am but the fact is that I am feeling lousy this time and suffered a severe Panic attack on Monday. I know that things aren’t as bad as I make them to be, but right now I feel like I’m being critiqued terribly and feel that I am not appreciated for who “I” am. 🙁 I know that I will rise up from this precipice with victory and will have a prosperous future….with my soul mate! But right now…right this instant I feel like there is a dark cloud hovering over me and I feel so sad 🙁 I’ve been crying uncontrolably since Sunday and my body just feels tense and tired and exhausted.

But as before I know that I will see the light again and I am getting stronger with each passing day.

🙂

I shall be rosy again!

SensualRose @}>->->->-