When does the journey end?

I have been feeling really good as of late.  But isn’t that usual with me in the last 6 months or so?  Pot consumption is still at a low, which is good… but drinking has increased.  I have such an addictive mind, it’s horrible.  It has become quite the norm to drink 2 pints.  I try not to go over that, because I know I will feel like shit the next day.  Is this a problem?

Girls have been telling me how good looking I am lately.  I think it is starting to go to my head.  I try not, cause I don’t want to be one of those ego maniacs, but it feels so good.  To hear that I have a great personality and dead sexy… the perfect combo.  I still don’t feel that good looking.  Although I did reach my all time high in mass the other day… I weighed 142!!  I have never weighed that much in my life.  I was so proud.  I started to feel normal for once, I have always been lean and couldn’t gain weight if I tried.

Krystal called me the other day, but her absent mindedness forgot to leave a number in her message.  She has moved and I don’t have her new number.  Oh well maybe it is good for me not to talk to her.  I still have that gut feeling that her and I will be togeather agian though.  I sent her an E-card on her birthday, my only way of making contact with her… she has yet to check it, but that is to no surprise.  I can say this here… but I don’t dare say it to my friends… Krystal is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.  She is not perfect physically, but she is not ugly by anymeans… she is deathly cute.  Her mentality, and our clickage togeather is what makes her beautiful.  I just know…she will be back.

I have a few prospects for dates.  One girl, really digs me.  I know this… but from experience I am playing it casual, cause I like her too.  But one thing bothers me… she is taller than me!!!  I am 5’9… and she is prolly about 5’10 or 5’11… not much… but I usually go for the 5’5 – 5’7 girls… I like small… but she is really good looking and our personalities match well.  Maybe what I need is something complete oppositite of Krystal, and that girl is EXACTLY THAT.

I need to move out soon… my dad is putting the house up for sale in a few months to move to Trenton with his new wife.  I have no money… and no full time job… I am just finishing school.  I need to find a place, I have a couple options.  But no money to back that up.  I am worried.  But I am sure things will work out.

Music of the Moment: Nick Warren – Live in Iceland @ Electrolux
Today I Feel: Very well. 🙂