Day 12

I am sitting here at work, and I am really tempted to go out after work and buy a few beers.  Then I will go home and veg on the couch drinking a couple while watching the olympics.  Sounds like a pretty good idea.  But no, I shouldn’t.  I am  having a mental battle at the moment, I don’t know how to put it into words.  It really isn’t “sentences” it is more single words.  Buzz, fucked, tasty, hungover, guilt, relaxing, etc.  Pro’s and cons.

What should I do? I have done pretty well, had the one beer while Tj was over on saturday… There is nothing stopping me really.  The craving there is now.  Maybe it will stop in the next 3 hours of work.  but as of right now, I want a drink.  Don’t want to get hammered, just want 2 pints.  As I said before, it usually starts when I have “nothing better to do” … it is friday, I will be done work, why not?  Nobody will be around, I will just be sitting there twiddling my thumbs, might as well have a buzz while I do, right?  FUCK,  I hate this feeling.

Music of the Moment:  Junkie XL – Metrolike
Today I Feel:  Torn