Heart Throb.

Well, we all knew it would happen.  As usual… I call Krystal on her Bday, she invites me out… so we go out tonight.  And she looked fantastic, even though she was in bum clothes (hoodie and trackpants) I’m such a fool.. I knew this would happen, it is better to just avoid her. But I really like talking to her, and I am so attracted to her.  I think she is maturing and may notice what we had…although I could be a total tool and completely lost to what she thinks…

Over 5 years since her and I first kissed, yet it still feels like yesterday.  I just want to blurt out to her, I am in love with her, and I know it is love for the only time in my life.  It isn’t lust, it isn’t infatuation, I look at her, and I think there is nothing else I want, there is nothing else that could satisfy me, there is nobody else who would listen to me, understand me, and feel me like her.  But deep down, I still know what she has done to me, she has hurt me badly… she has abandonned me… although I think she feels the same deep down and doesn’t want to accept it yet, she may be still too young.  Or maybe I just hope she comes around.

Everything happens in life for a reason, if her and I weren’t meant to be, why do we keep coming togeather like this.  Other ex’s of mine forget about each other… yet Krystal and I just keep drifting togeather…  She told me tonight she is starting to understand the concept of just going with the flow in a relationship instead of forcing it.

It’s been over 2 1/2 years since I have been with her, and I still feel the same.  I’ve got it bad for this girl, always have  always will.  I asked Krystal tonight if she remembers one of our first moments, when we were at the Loblaws Christmas party and we danced to Comfortably numb by Pink Floyd… she said she remembers it clearly.  So it isn’t just me who felt that….

Music of the Moment: Sloan – I am the Cancer
Today I Feel: Unsure…