Stabby Rip Stab Stab

Jones was totally normal for the last few months.  Ok, "totally" is probably a big overstatement, but for him he was the most normallest he’s ever been.  We were actually having rational conversations like people do.  One time, we turned up to the same party at the same time and hung out in the same room together without making him pretend that he didn’t know me.  Weird, huh?  And then all of a sudden he’s become even batshit crazy than before. Of course.

My first theory was that he was turning emo.   Consider the evidence:  he was growing his hair to put it into dreadlocks, but then one day came home having got his hair cut.  They’d only cut the back and sides, the top was left long so that it swoops down across his face to one side.  If you’re picturing one of the douchebags from AFI right now you’re spot on.  All he needs is sparkly lip gloss and some mascara.  Well, one of us probably needs to start wearing make-up and shaving their legs, and it’s not going to be me.

Did I mention yet that when he dyes his hair black, he dyes his beard as well?  I had to talk him out of dying his eyebrows. I find that shit so funny I tell it to everyone I can.  

He also became very moody, very teenager-like and he started listening to Triple R in the afternoons where they have a show that plays 90s punk, hardcore and metalcore.  It’s just a hairclip away from the Rage playlist I’d imagine Dashboard Confessional would select if they were guest presenting.  He even recognised when the radio presenter was pulling songs off a Fat Records compilation album in their original track order while pretending to pick the songs herself.  That deeply troubled me.

Then I made the mistake of asking him what he was going to get his mum for Mothers’ Day.  He says he’s writing her a poem.   

I thought that this would be the last straw, that I’d have to phone it in and GTFO.  But no, after talking to him, confronting him with my concerns, it turns out that he’s not going emo.   Haha… No, the real reason for his mood swing and sudden change in music taste is that he’s completely batshit insane.  Phew…  what a relief.  I mean, at least if he’s just mental, he can see a doctor.  There is no cure for emo.  Ha ha…  to think I was overreacting so much…. hahahaha.  oh no, he’s just done enough drugs to finally lose grip with reality completely.  Hahahahaha…. hahahaha…. sillly me ….   hahahahahaha….. 

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