Survey nicked from Kerouac

1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?

5.55am these days, to the soothing tones of Ann-Marie Kelly on Today FM. She has such a lovely voice, apparently it’s Laoisean. And she’s good a nice sense of humour too, cynical yet cheesy at just the right times. If there was justice in this world (and no traffic), then I’d only have to get up at 7.30am to be in work for 8.30 but there’s too much traffic where I live so I have to give myself three times the time it actually should take. If you catch my drift…..

2. IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE?

Irish Times journo Fintan O’Toole, who I could then stab with a fork repeatedly. It would go from good-natured to bloody to life-threatening and the WHOLE time he’d keep talking and talking and talking all that tree-huggin’ hippy wank he comes out on The Last Word, Joe’s favourite newsy show.

3. GOLD OR SILVER?

Silver! Always believe in your soul! Nah, doesn’t work as well…….leaning towards gold to be honest.

4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?

Ali G Indahouse, which wasn’t as bad as I thought and could teach Mr Stiller a few things about how to turn a one-joke spoof personality into a three-dimensional laughfest.

5. FAVORITE TV SHOWS?

Family Guy, Frasier, the really-rather-good Scrubs and of course Does Doug Know? with the sound off so I can gaze at my Daisy. I was gonna say “Gaze at my Daze but that would’ve sounded stalkery…….

6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?

Orange juice, three (yes, fucking three) Weetabix, scrambled egg on toast and some tea if I have time.

7. WHO WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH?

Jordan (British “glamour model”, long re-classified as “demented freak”)

8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?

Yes.

9. WHO INSPIRES YOU?

Frasier and Bender.

10. WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?

Peter.

11. BEACH OR CITY?

Beach.

12. SUMMER OR WINTER?

Summer.

13. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Romantica.

14. BUTTER, PLAIN OR SALTED POPCORN?

Buther.

15. FAVORITE COLOR?

Brown.

16. FAVORITE CAR?

The new Mini, Volvo S60, Lexus IS200, BMW X5……….anything but that fucking Porsche Cayenne. And Kias.

17. FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLINGS?

Chicken in Cajun mayonnaise? No? Ok, just chicken mayonnaise.

18. BEEN IN LOVE?

Yes.

19. WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU DESPISE?

Ignorance, I hate ignorance. People have a duty to know about stuff.

20. FAVORITE FLOWER?

I could be rude here and say Charlotte Church’s………feck off, she’s legal now!!!

21. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG WOULD YOU WAIT TO TELL PEOPLE?

I’d quietly deposit thousands into the bank accounts of my nearest and dearest and slowly they’d all come to realise. I’d never say exactly how much I won though…..

22. FIZZY OR STILL WATER AS A DRINK?

Still water, fizzy water tastes horrible!!!

23. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM?

White, so we can spot the pee marks.

24. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?

Recently slimmed them down to five, and got rid of the bulky keyring I made in first year.

25. WHERE WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO RETIRE?

Lanzarote, but then I’m not 45 yet.

26. CAN YOU JUGGLE? IF YES, HOW MANY?

No.

27. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK?

Friday, recently beat Thursday because I’m off for the weekend a lot now on Friday (usually worked weekends) and the whole country is geared up to switch off on Friday at 6pm, which is nice.

28. RED OR WHITE WINE?

White wine.

29. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?

Went for a Chinese with the family.

30. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?

Yes, it’s bloody marvellous!

j