The Debutantes

I first met Lindsay on holidays in Lanzarote in 1998. She was from Kilkenny, thin and pale, two years younger than me but she laughed at my jokes and had a few of her own. I don’t remember what we used to talk about but whatever it was it made me stay out til all hours and ignore my sister for five days, when Lindsay left. On that day, Lindsay and I took a walk around the back of the hotel and had a rather nice snog. She really was good. And we promised we’d write and keep in touch and visit. And then she got on the bus and went home.

So ends thousands upon thousands of holiday romances. The phone calls are strained, the meeting up is abandoned and the phone number is “lost”. A footnote in the diary of your life. Only Lindsay and Joe didn’t end go that way. Lindsay and Joe did write, keep in touch and visit. She came to Dublin one day that December. I went to Kilkenny on the day before Valentine’s Day 1999. Then we met again in November when she was in Liffey Valley on a school trip and I bunked off college. She came up again in 2000 and I “borrowed” my Mam’s car to drive down to her on 31 October, during a rather rough time I was having with myself. And that time we nearly kissed again.

I’ve never thought of her as a girlfriend though. She always liked me a bit more, in a kind of schoolgirl crush way that was unsettlingly uncomfortable. She had a “Joe Box”, a collection of memorablia associated with yours truly that included what I can only describe as spyshots of my family taken in Lanzarote. Needless to say, I was more than a little freaked by her pining letters and often described her here as “PsychoGirl from Kilkenny”. She was unstable, had a terribly low opinion of herself and done stupid things to get attention. And yet despite the similarities with me, I still felt a little uneasy when she mention “us”.

But lately she’s been different. She turned 19 and suddenly went down a few thousand psychonotches. I find myself actually enjoying our chats. I’ve never known someone to leave behind teenagery crap so quickly and become a rather balanced, pleasant person in so little time.

So she asked me to her debs (prom) and I said yes. It’s on the 3rd of September and I got fitted for a tux today. Gulp. It’s a little impulsive of me, but I’m convinced I should do it. Ever since I left college and the initial eurphoria faded leaving me like the victim of some kind of mugging, I’ve lost this premonitiony gut feeling thing I used to have. The unbelievable coincidences that convince me of the existence of a higher being. That came back today. I had decided upon leaving work that I’d march down to Blacktie, and get fitted for a tuxedo. On my way, I saw this bloke come towards me and walk past. He was talking to someone else and wouldn’t have recognised me with my glasses. When I saw him, for the first time in four years, you could have knocked me with a feather. His name was James and he was Melanie’s date for a debs I went to two weeks after meeting Lindsay. Melanie was Mate’s school fiend and the first girl my knees went wobbly over, I wrote a saga of entries here a few months ago called “There’s Something About Melanie” that I’m sure you could dig up if you’re that interested. Anyway, Melanie and me kissed since James and her were far from an item. I said goodbye to both of them one cold September morning in 1998 and pined after her for years afterwards. Later it turned out James had liked her all along and might have made a move had it not been for me. Which I felt bad about since by yet another amazing coincidence I had gone to school in Dublin with James’s uncle. Don’t ask. Anyway, James walked past me today as I made me way to the suit hire shop. Which was one of those coincidences I believe happened for a reason.

To freak me out. Good night. I’ve just spent four hours in an internet cafe trying to beat writer’s block and while it’s all shite, at least I’m writing. So good night and I’ll see Embryo, Cassie and Sixtyten tomorrow night for a mild night out.

Mustn’t get drunk, mustn’t get drunk, mustn’t get drunk, mustn’t get drunk, mustn’t get drunk, mustn’t get drunk, mustn’t get drunk, mustn’t get drunk, mustn’t ge……..

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