Ici en France

This is my first visit to France and by God, it’s a hard country to love. The first night we were here, we had a nice meal and got pretty drunk. Second night, we got fairly shitfaced. Third night, we drank some tayshty vin blanc and got bolloxed. And tonight we had an amazing meal, some coffee and I’m still bleedin mad out of it.

Let me explain. I like drinking. I fucking love it, more than most non-sex-orientated activites dans ma vie. And it’s an education too, I find out more about my wife when she’s drunk than any other time as a mere mortal.

But France. Honestly. It shuts at 2pm. Complains when 62 year olds have to get a pension. And generally seems as lazy as a turtle in a tug of war team. I’m not sure I’m down with France.

Then there’s the positive sides. I love the booze. Not so much the €6.50 500ml of beer but the €4 bottle of champagne – mais oui! And the other stuff; the 3-course meal for less than €45 a couple. And the groceries, fierce cheap in fairness.

Add to this the non-stop shagging we’ve had during this holiday (honestly, this woman is wearing the lad off me) and I have to say that on balance, France fucking rocks. It has an odd way of grabbing you (vin chaud as sangria) but it works. And my God, does it work!

Giuseppe xxx