Dreaming

So I dream a lot but usually my dreams are fairly random and I forget them within a few minutes of waking up.  But this morning was different.  It wasn’t that it was a particularly remarkable dream.  It was remarkably vivid.  But strangest of all (at least for me) were the characters, one in particular. 

Now, outside of friends and family, the characters that appear in my dreams do not usually have recurring roles, particularly not recurring leading roles.  But apparently I now have one and it makes me wonder.  I’ll summarize what I remember of the dream.

I was out, in various places doing various activites.  There was a fair of some kind, perhaps around Halloween because I’m fairly certain there was either a haunted house or a funhouse kind of thing set-up and I remember wanting to go in it.  And I remember little booths and stalls set up selling trinkets and knick-knacks, a lot of which were geared towards children but some that were for adults, like jewelry stands.  And there was a mall too but malls are fairly common in my dreams and this was not the same place as the [fair] was, it was different entirely and it was just me and some friends, most of whom I’m not familiar with in reality.  And I know this all sounds fairly routine and not anything to be at all perturbed by.  And that part I’m not at all puzzled by.

No what puzzles me is the man who has now appeared in my dreams twice now, and very likely more often than that and I don’t remember it.  I don’t know the man in reality.  I can’t recall having met anyone who looked similar to him either that would be giving me a base for him.  But the fact that I can recall two distinctive and separate occasions for his appearance makes me curious if I’m being given a sign of some kind.  As for the man himself he’s tall, the way I have to look up at him in my dreams places him around a minimum of 5’9".  He’s big, but not in the heavy-set sense.  He has broad shoulders, very strong, and while he narrows down towards the hips he doesn’t do it as pronounced as some builds, at least it doesn’t appear that way but he wears loose, baggy shirts that make it a little more difficult to tell since he has such large shoulders.  His hair is very short, the buzz just against the scalp look (which by the way I despise as a general rule)  He’s clean-shaven.  I think his hair is dark but I can’t tell for sure since he doesn’t really have hair to be sure about any color and eyebrows are always darker than true hair color.  And I can’t remember his eyes.  But I remember his hands.  They’re big, with thick callused fingers, the kind of hands you see in construction or automotive; strong hands that are capable of doing delicate work too.

And I remember feeling that he cared about me, a lot but I remember that I wasn’t sure of how I felt.  It wasn’t because of him though.  I knew, just knew, that he was a good person.  It was because of something else that was going on, something that was casting doubts onto everything in my life.  And it was partly because he and I had never had sex.  Something else I just knew in the dream.  And as my sexual style tends to be…different from most, this was the cause of some of my hesitation.  I wasn’t sure if he would still accept me if he got to know that part of me.

But everywhere we went in the dream, he was my shadow (when it was he and I).  He bought me anything I wanted, even after I told him not to, he took me anywhere I wanted to go.  He spoiled me, an old-fashioned attempt at wooing me really.  And I remembering that it made me uncomfortable when he did this, not because I didn’t like him, but because I didn’t want to inadvertantly get his hopes up.  His hopes of what, I don’t know now. 

But as I sit here thinking on it I can recall some details more clearly.  His eyes were gentle and a little anxious, though I don’t remember the color.

Anyway, it simply makes me very curious about why I can recall these particular dreams so vividly and with such great detail when usually my dreams vanish like mist in the daylight.  Is it a sign of something?  But if so, a sign of what?  Is it a sign that love will come, or that it is coming?  Am I supposed to meet him?  Is it a sign that I am holding myself back from life in general?  Or from love specifically?

Suddenly I wish I had invested money in that silly dream dictionary I see so often at the bookstore.  However I simply cannot fathom a good enough reason to go out and purchase a $20 – $30 book about dreams.  Particularly sincei I so rarely recall my dreams.  Oh well…

~*~*~Blessed Be~*~*~