leaving

“Five more minutes.”

I hugged him tight.

“You’ll have an awesome time…it’s such a great trip. I’m so excited for you.”
“Yeah, it’s really going to be great. I can’t wait. I’ll miss you though.”
“I’ll miss you too.”

He took my face in his hands.

“I just have one piece of advice for you, k? This is going to be so awesome….make sure, no matter what, that you take it in as you know how. Find something that pulls at you, and don’t let anyone stop you from feeling it as deeply as you can. Maybe Auschwitz, maybe the children in Poland. You’ll regret it if you don’t. It’s how you process best. OK?”

I nodded. He was right, of course. And I intended to do exactly that. I kissed him, and we walked down to the door. I waved goodbye to Hannah, and she bearhugged me. “I’m always leaving!” I said in her ear. “It sucks. But I’ll be back soon.” In the next room I hugged Nancy and David as well–these complete hugs that were, somehow, so much more fulfilling than any I get from my own parents. I turned to get the last hug from Aaron. “Remember what I said to you,” he whispered. “I will,” I said.

In the car driving away, I turned on the radio, and a song I knew well was playing. In a way, though the song as a whole didn’t quite fit, the words spoke to me.

I think I could need / This in my life….and if you’re gone,

Baby, its time to come home.

Somehow, I am more home there than anywhere else.

I drove away smiling.