fascination for the obscure

the cure – homesick.

hey hey!
just one more and i’ll walk away
all the everything you win
turns to nothing today
and i forget how to move
when my mouth is this dry
and my eyes are bursting hearts
in a blood-stained sky
oh it was sweet
it was wild
and oh how we…
i trembled
stuck in honey
honey
cling to me…
so just one more
just one more go
inspire in me the desire in me
to never go home

oh just one more
and i’ll walk away
all the everything you win
turns to nothing today
so just one more
just one more go
inspire in me the desire in me
to never go home

((sometimes i think the cure is all i’ll ever need.))

my life is going pretty well, despite the hectic way i live it. everything seems to happen all at once, and i can hardly keep up with it. all these feelings come and ravish me, and i’m left here, wondering what the hell just happened.

i’m not sure if i should go into detail, but let’s just say that everything’s been confusing me. feelings, thoughts, events… they’re all very different. and i don’t even know if i like it.
under usual circumstances, i’d be pretty devastated. i hate changes. but somehow i can deal with it.

i’ve turned 18, and everyone [including me] is noticing it. i’m the last one to say that maturity has anything to do with age, but it seems i’m more mature… or it could just be the fact that everyone in my class is at least 2 years younger than me, so i seem more mature.

eve makes me laugh, and it’s not because she’s so funny.

i smell of photography. mmmmmm. i’ve come to terms with the fact that i’ll never be really great at photography, but at least it’s something i like doing. some kids from my class spent all night online, looking at pictures of other photographers. it just demotivates me. i’ll never be that good… and if i can’t do things in a perfect way, i’d rather not do it. so here i am, making pictures because i just like doing it. who knows what i’ll do in a few years from now…

i might get a job. something with delivering cosmetics-flyers. i can do it in my own time, whenever i want to. and it pays really well too. some guy will come and explain it all to me tomorrow. i hope i’ll like it, i could really use some money. i’d rather work in a bookshop or recordstore, or maybe even a videostore. but i can get this job, and it probably pays better… so well. who would’ve thought. lynn, working. heh.

i think i’ll write a longer entry later, explaining some of my feelings i’ve been having lately…