and i’m dying.

hmmm. i’ve done the whole in love-thing for about a month now, and i’m so sick of it. stupid robbe who’s too sweet and cute. i cut myself apart because of him. grrrr.
yep. i’ve sent him text messages in the middle of the night, waited all evening for him to come online, and almost stalked him at school. i’m pathetic, really.

he almost got me dying when he answered a certain question from a survey…
“if someone was in love with you, who would you like it to be? too late, she already is. (both of them.)“
so um yeah. first one is his girlfriend. [i really want her to die. she’s ugly and doesn’t give him what i can give him. grrrr.] second one is… who is she? so i asked him. “ninia… or you.” ninia is another stupidbitchwhorecuntgirl. and i’m me.

so yeah. i was quite confused. asked him to explain to me. he wouldn’t say it, i had to drag it out of him. so then i just asked if has feelings for me too. and he said he didn’t know. which made me happy. and sad. and evenmoreconfused. he got me jumping around like crazy for 3 days, until i had to know for sure.
so i asked him again on thursday. and he still said he didn’t know. i said i wanted to know. lots of dots. then, a very doubting & uncertain “i guess not.” i didn’t want any guesses, so i asked again. and then he said no.

why do all those boys have to be so confusing? i think i’ll just marry my guinea pigs. i cleaned their cage today. it made me + them happy. yay.