this boy.

there’s still this boy that i haven’t quite gotten over yet. his moodswings are terrible, he’s told me several times that he hates me, and once he said i am ugly and that saying that is not his fault. i should change my ugliness.
but still, i cannot get over him. he’s touched something inside of me, something that makes me want to care for him. stroke his hair and tell him everything will be alright. he’s a 16 year old boy, in need of someone who understands him, for he cannot even understand himself. he rebells against everything, even against himself and he wonders if he’ll ever be happy. if he fights with his girlfriend he feels like he’s losing it all, feels like his world is tumbling down, just like the feeling in his body.

he’s 16, loud, annoying, obnoxious and unable to stand when he’s around other people. he feels the constant need to show his masculinity, to show how strong he is, he truely wants to be the alpha male. he tries to be dominant during conversations. when they don’t go his way, he tries to impress you by being louder than you are.

sometimes, he can be sweet. he can care for you, as long as you don’t frighten him. when you’re getting too close to him, when he’s unsure where to put you in his life, he says he hates you, to make you go away.

his girlfriend is… well, she’s a bitch. no other way to put it. when they have a fight, he’s not allowed to talk about it with anyone else. she seems extremely insecure or possessive. or both. she can break his heart. and she does, often too. i’m not sure if she means it that way. but she should know you should never tell a 16 year old boy [who’s head over heels for you] that you think loving him was never a good idea.

he’s also extremely possessive over her. they have silly arguements about her taking home a sweater of another boy, or her laughing with what another boy said. but those silly arguements… they can be heartbreaking, if you watch closely. they’re tearing eachother apart, slowly devouring eachother… it’s a sad thing, really.

you know they’ll never last. they’re thinking of marriage, and that’s never good when you’re 16. but you can’t tell him.. it’d break his heart.

and it breaks mine, too.