Disapointed

Only if you knew how disapointed I am right now… Only if you could feel the pain it brings… it just burns… And it doesn’t go away…

I dunno what the go is… But I got a feeling somethinks up… i could be wrong…

but last two nights… Christie calls me… but doesn’t talk… And just says the reason shes not talking is cos she is tired… Yeah i guess that is possible…

And last night Christie said she was going to sms me today…. And then she didn’t… I ended up smsin her lata tonight… And no reply… So then I sent another sms and tried calling her… No answer…

A lil bit lata i got a sms bak from Christie saying “no no no no” Cos I sent her a sms sayin I want a smoke. As soon as I got the sms I called her phone… And guess what no answer… I’m trying to get myself into i dont give a fuck mode…. Cos that way its not going to bother me… I keep thinking about what has gone on, what as gone on in the past between Christie and I… What is going on between us right at this very moment of our lives… The things she has saod to me and done to me… Why does it keep leading to me getting hurt… Does that also mean that in the end i will just be hurt? Is that how its going to end aswell?

Also… I got a feeling that Christie is going to call me after 9 some stage like she always does… I dont know if I want to answer it, Or if I should bring up how I feel. Or if I should ignor what she has done to me, or if I should cut sik… At this rate she prolly wont even call…