up and down not left to right, make it count!!!

dude fuck off im in a crazy mood i wanna do something. i’ve been thinking. . .about sean?!?! i dont know what to do. blah blah blah hopefully i can see him this weekend. i just wanna lick his eye and stuff. im not really sure if i would fuck him. at least not right now. its weird how i feel for him ‘cuz yesterday the thought of him kinda made me sick. now im feeling sick for his touch. ooohhhhh no this is bad!!!! what to do what to do. he’s sooo sweet and beautiful and he would be one of those guys who i could just be in his presence and be all like ‘calm’ or something and right now im like the farthest thing from calm!!!! my body aches and i’m tense and my stomach is getting all balled up and i wanna cry just to release how i feel. i dont know whats making me like this. why am i letting him do this to me!!!!!!!! i wanna feel his breath on my cheek, his hand in mine. our bodies touching at least for a moment. then i could feel safe and calm. and let go of my tension and ache. i dont know what this is why the thought of him does this to me i cant get him off my mind. i want to be with him even though im sure thats the worst thing i could ever do. . .gahhhhhh