pregnant

haha i bet some of you thought i was pregnant!!! im not. my “little sister”, who is not my real little sister but like my adopted little sister, is though. DOH!!!! kinda weird. she’ll be 18 in june. her boyfriend is really excited. she’s really excited. she loves little kids. so really im not worried for her. i think they’ll do great and handle it great. i dont know i just want to be positive in this for her because right now her dad isnt speaking to her and her mom just cries all the time now. meh i dont know. next time i see her im just gonna hit her upside the head then give her the biggest hug ever. i cant believe her though. its crazy. it will be crazy to see this little tiny skinny blonde girl that i’ve known since she was 14 all pregnant. gahhhhh my kiwi!!!!!!! blah blah blah anyway so sean was going to come over yesterday but he’s on call for work and had to go out ‘cuz it was his turn and i think they were fixing some part of the bed of their work truck. so i didnt see him. . .grrrrr *sniffle* ok its not that bad ‘cuz i had a pretty good day off. i didnt do a damn thing!!! i loved it haha well actually i did do laundry!!! YES believe me i finally did the laundry. buh. . .im such a slacker sometimes im surprised i finished it. baha the other morning when sean came over for breakfast we had cereal and after we were done eating i was cleaning up and he told me not to worry about it that he’d clean up so i went to my abedroom to finish getting ready and i came back and the kitchen was clean so i thought that was cool didnt think nything of it and we left. well my mom and dad came home that night and was like who ate here with you this morning? and i was like ummmmm sean but ok its weird that you asked and i was like why and they were like nothing is put away where its supposed to go. so i look around and there was cereal all on top of the cupboards. the sugar was on the microwave and i started laughing and my mom’s like at least he tried. he did rinse out his bowl though. bahaha im sorry i get to amused over sean. he’s so damn hot though. i wanna jump his bones. . .RIGHT NOW. . . .but then i’d have to wash my sheets again. i mean yeah. . .oh my god i forgot all about this cuz i was rambling about sean. ummmm ok so ryan called me last night. OMG right!?!?!?! yeah so he called and i was completely pissed off at first. i mean i almost started crying ‘cuz basically the last time we talked which was several months ago he pretty much told me to fuck off. so i didnt wanna deal with him ‘cuz he was so fucked up last time we were together and i didnt ever want to be around his shit again. he’s like ummm i think last time we talked i like told you to fuck off or something and i was like yes you did ryan and he goes i guess i just wanted to call and apologize for that. im like ok its fine and he just keeps talking and goes well we havent talked in a few months ya know. and a month of that i was in jail. (which i knew about already though) so im just being really cold and mean and go yeah ok. and he sounded like he was starting to feel bad but i dont care really. so he’s like come on i called to apologize for saying those things to you and you do know i still owe you $7 and im like ok ryan i accept the apology and you can just keep the money ‘cuz i dont care. i dont really want to see you. and we talked for a bit and he told me about how he’s clean this and that and all the shit he did was the old ryan and this is a new ryan and he’s really trying. and im like ok if you’re a new man and you’re clean you can prove it to me and then we’ll see if i can ever just be ok with you again ‘cuz right now i cant. so i was like get down here in 15 minutes and then we’ll talk. so i waited and he never showed up. so that was that. im so completely over his bullshit. i cant believe i even agreed to see him. but even though i dont wanna be around him and in his life anymore, i really do hope he’s changed and that he’s clean though.  i’ve known the guy for a long time i know about every single up and down he’s had and yeah he got into some stupid stuff but i know he can be a good guy. so for his sake i hope he’s gonna be ok. but it was really weird how he just called me out of the blue even though i should’ve expected it. its the ryan thing to do. anyway enough about the drama that ryan causes on my life. so i watched the best movie ever last night. . .well its not the best ever but i love it. the best little whore house in texas. hahahaha i love that movie. it cracks me up!!! i think its funny how its about a whore house but they made it into a musical. thats just classic. hehe there was something else i was going to write about but i forgot. oh well this entry is long enough anyway. . .no i remember i was going to rant about work ‘cuz i have to work 3 nights in a row. its not just that they’re nights its that they are weekend nights. all the weekend nights i have to work. and i have to do an extra 2 hours saturday afternoon. buh!!!! oh well thats why i make more money than they do and they always bitch about not having any money or not making enough money when im the one who always volunteers for extra hours and shifts. stupid people anyway. they’re really really nice people but i’d like them a lot better if i didnt work with them. ok im really done now.

random song quote of the day: (whole song today, i just like it really, it doesnt hold a lot of meaning for anything)
song: washin’ and wonderin’
artist: stroke 9

This just in…where to begin
Grin and bear it, it’s bare and grim
Adoration, titillation, I’m the victim now
Because she’s figured me out
She lights my candle, she has a handle on me
It’s going well but I’m scared as hell
That she’ll figure me out
She thinks it’s sacred to be naked
But I don’t care, ’cause she’s had me there
You see she’s figured me out

And I wanna shout at the top of my lungs now
But oh my god if she hears me she’ll come running in…
These are my hands, these are my faults
These are my plans
These are my nasty little thoughts
I wrote ’em down for you to contemplate
At a later date

Well the word is out, what’s it all about
Doubtless shady, no shadow of doubt
In moderation, this sensation would be fabulous
But she’s figured me out
She’s in my shower for an hour
She’s just washin’ and wonderin’
And trying to figure me out…

And I wanna shout at the top of my lungs now
But oh my god if she hears me she’ll come running in…
These are my hands, these are my faults
These are my plans and these are my nasty little thoughts
I wrote ’em down for you to contemplate…

It’s a little bit of something that I feel…
Oh man, I just can’t deal…
And other than this distance that has covered me
Can’t you see that you have smothered me

Well, you’re not there, just stay out there
Just when I was on to something else
That’s when she figures me out