Meg Ryan much?

Alright, so I was watching You’ve Got Mail today..
and I couldn’t help but think "Hrm, I want to open a bookstore someday!"
Which, doesn’t shock me. I’m quite hopeless when it comes to love/life..
so when I see situations that are appealing to me in movies and books.. well, fictional..
I always try to mimic that lifestyle.
It’s odd, yes.. but..
At least I am wanting to mimic strong fictional characters..
not clumsy idiot ones who want to be, ahem, vampires.

So, I think the bookstore thing is going to stick with me for a while..
at least until I realise that I hate books or I don’t know enough about them or something.

See, the baking classes.. kind of ruined my life.
I had this whole.. lifestyle down pat..
then it turns out I fucking hate baking. Hah. So now, I’m in a
‘oh, whatever shall I do?!’ kind of state of mind.
I honestly have no idea what I want.
Hence why I like copying fictional characters..
and they’re always..
loved. You know? The characters I want to BE like.. they’re loved.
but a good kind of love.. not ‘ohay, ur sexi’ the kind of love I want.

Someone who loves me for me, you know?
Someone who loves me for being smart, not being pretty.
Well, I don’t think it’s possible for someone to love me for being pretty,
since I’m not. You know?
My appeal is my intelligence, for sure.
I noticed, however, that I more related to Tom Hanks character more than Meg Ryan..
but then on the flip side.. I related more to Will Ferrel’s character more than Maggie however you spell her last name.
..but I still want to be like that character..
Even though I hate baking, I even contemplated baking even despite my hate for it..
because I want that life.
Be it fictional, I want that life.

There’s nothing wrong. (well, I’m sure there is..)
with wanting to have a fictional life.. it really just depends on WHAT story you’re getting it from..
you know?
I guess.. if that even really makes sense.
It makes sense to me.. well, at the moment..
but I’m sure in a few months when I re-read I’ll be like
"haha, what the hell?"
you know, I’m sure I’m not the only one who does that.

-Suraque
(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0128853/, You’ve Got Mail)
PS: since I didn’t use a song lyric like I usually do, I decided to give you that as a link.