harder than I thought it was

I was just writing a note to one of my bookmarks who was having issues with her bf of 5 years. In that one I wrote about how me and my husband have only been apart from each other for maybe a few weekends all the years we have been together. I guess us being apart from each other for 4 months is a really good test of how much we really are a couple. I miss him like crazy and I have learned how to be a little bit more independent but also learned who my real friends are. Maybe I’m just destined to not have many friends. I think me and the Ginny chick are going our separate ways as much as I hate to say it. I try to do things with her and she ALWAYS wants me to go over to her house but the problem is since Jess has been gone I don’t have a crapload of gas to go all over the place and her house is rather far from mine. Besides she smokes and stinks because of it. So I don’t know I asked her if she wanted to go bowling with me a LONG time ago and she told me she would get back to me which she never did and now all of a sudden she’s going to Missouri this weekend. Nice of her to let me know. Then there was the whole biopsy fiasco. I got a call from the dr office today about tomorrow and they said I had to have someone drive me to and from so I went around asking almost everyone I could think of if they could take me to which everyone was busy. I was finally able to get my friend Amanda to take me even though I feel bad because she has to drive a bit of a distance to come to my house.

It kinda made me mad that they waited until the day BEFORE the appointment to decide to tell me that. If they would have told me in advance I could have arranged for someone to do that and wouldn’t have to scramble around to find someone at the last minute. Besides the fact if the stupid doctor would have done the damn biopsy right the first fucking time I wouldn’t have to do this at all.

Then work has me stressed out. It seems like I can’t do anything fucking right when it comes to my boss. She’s always yelling at me about one thing or another. I just want to quit to be honest but can’t do it. She will sit there and blame me for stuff I didn’t screw up like her computer. She sat there and tried to say I screwed up her computer because I used the minimize button instead of clicking on the program name on the taskbar thing that is at the bottom of the screen. Then the other day I had to print something out and I didn’t see the printer icon so I went to file and was about to do it that way and she was all like ” WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU DON’T DO IT LIKE THAT!!!! I was tempted to say there’s 3 different ways you can print something but figured I would keep my mouth shut. Everyday I’m being yelled at for something I fucked up on. It’s just crazy. There’s a lady who is a lunch aide right now who is thinking of becoming a food service worker i’m tempted to tell her don’t do it but if she did become one it might get better for me or it could get worse because then my boss would favor the new chick over me and point out my mistakes even more. I don’t intentionally try to screw things up but she sure does make it seem that way. She’s constantly saying I’m not listening but when I’m concentrating on trying to get something important done and she’s yapping about something totally different it’s a little hard to pay attention to what I’m doing and what she’s talking about. I can multi-task but not according to her. I don’t know what to do. I only have 2 more months so I guess I can’t complain too much and even if I do no one gives a shit anyway. That’s a big thing I’ve noticed no one gives a shit what I say or what I do. I could kill myself and I doubt anyone would care. (NOT THAT I EVER WOULD).