I’m Back

I got back on Thursday from Basic Combat Training. It sucked in many ways but it wasn’t all that bad.

I had to shoot my M-16 A2 Rifle and qualify on it. I did bayonet assualt training, grenades, hand to hand combat, night infiltration, I was gassed with CX gas (Tear Gas), I did up to a 12 mile march with 50 lbs of crap on my back, I did a lot more too but it’s just too much to talk about. I am glad to be home however.

One thing I’ve just come to realize is that I still have very strong feelings for a certain someone, I’ve never gotten over this person and I doubt I ever will. Ever since that first day I saw her in class with this colorful skirt on and she just took my breath away, ever since then I honestly believe I have been in love with this person, and I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, or anything,.. ya know what I’m sayin, it’s all so confusing. But let me ask ya’ll somethin, ya ever feel so strongly about someone that u really couldn’t have, and it made u sick, it made u so ill inside that u felt like u just could not take it any longer, like ur insides would explode until u got that chance to be with that special person and just hold them and protect them and love them and etc, etc. I can’t believe I still feel this way but I want her so damn bad and it’s eatin me up inside and yet I’m too damn cowardly to go up to her and try to make things work, here I can get ready and trained to go to war and fight in a combat zone, but I’m too scared to confront a girl because of my feelings. I just can’t understand it. And also, ten weeks ago before I left for training she was quite the attractive lady, but I come back ten weeks later and now she’s just absolutly gorgeous, I have no freakin idea what I’m gonna do but I gotta do somethin or I’ll explode, I can’t even concentrate on my school work. Life just sucks sometimes.