My Baby’s Stayin

Well due to some things people down in Texas said, and due to Holly’s dad being an a-hole, she is not going back to Texas like she had planned to, not even going back for college.  She says she’s staying here for college and is going to try to go to Western Kentucky University, which I plan on applying at, but it’s my third choice.  This is excellent news for me, but bad news for her and I feel so bad, even if it isn’t my fault that she has to stay, it still feels like I’m somewhat accountable for it.  I really wanted her to go because it was what she wanted so badly.  She says she is miserable here in Ky, and that the only thing good around here is me.  Which is nice to say but terrible that’s she’s so miserable.  You have no idea what she has gone through in herlifetime, she has had it rough and still does, I mean yea I’ve seen worse then her case, but she has had it pretty bad. 

Bad news though, about 3-4 days ago her dad was taking out the trash and the bag ripped open and out popped a receit, and on that receit said condoms, not good.  So naturally he went straight to her for answers, she gave him the cold hard truth, and now he says she can’t see me anymore and that the only way he would consider us seeing each other is if we get together with my parents and talk it over, so and and so forth, bla bla bla.  She says no to that though and refuses to allow her dad to talk with my parents.  She hates her dad even more then ever now.  She says screw him and sees me just about everyday anyways, like after her shift at work is over he thinks she’s still at work but she’s really with me.  This is bad though, we shouldn’t have to sneak around, I just need to give him what he wants and maybe work things out, hopefully, if not, I don’t know how we’re gonna handle this fiasco.  Was I stupid for taking the receit?  Maybe, but that’s not something you think about, you naturally just take it from the cashier when they give it to you.  If they hadn’t of given it to me, I know I wouldn’t of asked for it.  And top off everything she told her dad that it was all her fault and it was her idea for us to do anthing, which is true for the most part, but she does not need to carry the burden on herself, I hate how she allows herself to be walked on all the time.  I don’t know, I think I just need to do the mature thing to do and go up to her dad and talk with him myself, civilized, if possible that is.  And if he really wants to talk with my parents then ok, whatever he wants to allow me to see her. 

Saturday was our 3 month anniversary, but we didn’t do anything, neither of us had the time to do anything, we just chilled together after work for a while. 

She always talks about how she’ll do anything to make me happy, even if it’s something she doesn’t want to do.  Which shows a complete loyalty to me and our relationship, and believe me, I would do the same for her.  But the thing that bothers me is how she has no respect for herself.  She calls herself trash, and fat, and everything else, and then asks me why I’m with her, and I have to explain to her what I feel towards her, but then she doesn’t totally believe me, it’s bad, but I’m not given up on her.  I love her.