We are the drivers yet we feel driven

My Birthday was… good. Two days worth of celebration, in fact. We started with breakfast in the city, then moved over to the conservatory and botanical gardens (with a special orchid exhibit) and ended with dinner and ice cream. And on the actual day, my mother came down and we spent the day talking, walking around German Village and book hunting at the Book Loft… a very lofty book store indeed with over 750,000 books and 32 rooms. The best gift was spending time with loved ones…though I certainly didn’t mind the cordless tea kettle that I received! 🙂 

I had a scare on Saturday that almost sent me to the emergency room but I think the disaster has been averted…for not at least. I didn’t want to ruin my own fun nor have to explain to others why I haven’t been well. I can count on one hand, one little tiny finger to be exact…as to how many people know. I want to savour normalcy as long as I can. Things change…people change…when they found out you’re sick. 

And besides, I don’t want to be chastised for making big investments when futures aren’t certain. But who can truly say they are certain about their future anyhow? So onto present things, positive things… I get the keys to my house on Friday. Everyone around me is astounded and in disbelief. I suppose so am I… but hey, now I can say I’m a homeowner. I’ve always hated paying someone else’s mortgage! 

So I started listening to this musician ‘James’ – an 80’s artist. He’s best known for the song Laid…. I don’t know why but yeah…I found myself listening to 3 of his albums all in one go while I was in the kitchen the other night. I really like Of Monsters and Men and Heroes….but all of it really. There’s just something about him…he doesn’t stand out immediately, nor is he dull…but for some reason, my soul cuddles to his voice. I can’t explain it. If anyone is reading this, Spotify it…give some songs a try…I’d like to know if you feel anything. 

Lyrics to Of Monsters And Heroes And Men
Stray cats with fish heads
Feeding their litters
Feral kids fight
Over rats tailed from gutters
Bookie mouth brokers
Rotten fruit sellers
Pickpockets ghost through the crowd

He climbs onto boxes
By market stall traders
Toothless and grey haired
Thousand yard stare
He had a vision
Which broke the receiver
Receiving transmission
Surface to air

Either way. I’m in awe of you
Either way. We’ll survive. We’ll survive

Conjuring devils,
Angels and demons
Only the children see shape to his tone
Laughing and crying
His song fell upon us
We buried his treasure along with the bones
Arms held aloft
A Y to the sky
Innocent witness
He testified
Drained of his purpose 
He falls off the quayside
Absorbed by the ocean
Rolled by the tide

Either way. I’m in awe of you.
Either way. We’ll survive.
Either way. I’m in awe of you.
Either way. We’ll survive.
We’ll survive.

Under the power lines
Which crackle and sparkle
Under the freeway
Now mostly rubble
The hungry still gather
To fill up with stories 
Of monsters and heroes and men
Under the stars
Which prick us and call us
Connect us to hope
That perfection’s within is
Here on the ground
We’re reckless and hopeless
Damned by the slip of a pen
Rambling poets
Manic with vision
We are the drivers yet we feel driven 
Moths in the moonlight
Fooled by a flashlight
Caught in a jam jar
Gasping for air
Rambling poets
Manic with vision
We are the drivers yet we feel driven 
Moths in the moonlight
Fooled by a flashlight
Caught in a jam jar
Gasping for air

Either way. I’m in awe of you.
Either way. We’ll survive. 
We’ll survive