First Love
I’ve been pondering writing this entry for a few years now. That’s a little odd considering at one point I wrote everything here first, and then pondered later.
On a completely unrelated note my boss complimented me on my communication skills this week – both written and oral. I think the time I spent writing here certainly contributed to that.
Anyway.. back to first love..
When I think back to my relationship with Ashley, the things I remember feeling are completely different from the feelings I had when I dated Alyson and then married my wonderful wife. I’m not saying that they were better, but different.
I think there’s something about the first time you’re in love.. you throw yourself into it with all you’ve got. (This fancy OD editor is rubbish) I’m sure I did more things I didn’t enjoy in that relationship than any other, regardless of length. The difference? The desire to be "one" with someone else. I wanted to instantly know everything about her, and females in general. Whatever her motivation was, I think the feeling was mutual.
Maybe it’s the feeling of the "chase" that I remember some fondly. Seems like that relation was such an emotional roller coaster. Oddly enough I think that helps contribute to that feeling. Working hard to try and patch things up all the time. You spend a lot of your time wondering how to impress the other person instead of letting that come naturally.
Even writing about it, I don’t find myself missing it in the slightest. I don’t think what we had together was in anyway as good as what Dallas and I have now. This was reinforced in my mind when Ashley came to town and I had a very easy time dealing with not seeing her. I made a bit of effort to get together, but I didn’t want to go out of my way.
Gawd this is such a ramble, but I’m typing on some tiny ass laptop keyboard and my hands hurt 🙁 I might have been better off with the tablet.
My point is that I think I’ve often remembered past relationships in a more positive way than they actually were. I wouldn’t trade the experiences for anything.. It took all of them to put me in a position to be ready to date, and marry Dallas. There’s no love like your first love, but thank goodness for that.