Hello everyone!

I hope everyone is doing well. I’m quite happy to say I’ve been doing much better as well. I had a nice long thinking session tonight. I went outside and sat next to a tree and just meditated for a little bit. Then I got to thinking and sorting out like all of my problems. So I’m going to write down what I came up with so i don’t forget

Here it goes:

1) My life

-I need to take life into my own hands. I’m very "go with the flow" to the point where I just let everything and everyone make decisions for me. I need to start making all of my own decisions and doing what makes me happy. I need to stop shrugging at everything and take initiative and actually go for the stuff I want to do. There is a quote that I say I love by but I’m finally realizing I don’t

"Dream as if you’ll live forever, Live as if you’ll die today.." -James Dean

Anyway..it’s about time I start living my life and stop laying around in bed doing nothing.

2) School

-Do better. Work harder. Period.

3) Alex

-He needs his space. I have made the decision to stop talking to him and wait for him. If he never wants to talk to me again..fine. I basically just want whatever will make him happy. If that means I’m out of his life so be it. I want him to be happy. That’ll make me happy. So everyone wins.

-I will stop getting upset over him and whatever hes doing. So hes going to prom with some other girl, so he may like her. I have an amazing and perfect guy by my side. Who am I to say he can’t like someone else? Hell, I more than like someone else. He deserves to be happy too.

4) Mike

I’m completely done with Mike. I’m never talking to him again. I’m done having him make me feel like absolute crap. I’m never going back to him again. I’m never letting him control me again. He used me and that was that.

5) Eric

-I’m over it. I don’t care anymore. He had his chance.

6) My mom

-I’m done feeling bad about going to school here. I am happy. I love my school and I love being on my own. I’m not letting her ruin that for me. We will never get along and its about time that I accept that and move on. I need to stop wanting her approval. I am who I am and she needs to accept me for once.

7) Daniel 

-I have incredibly strong feelings for him. I am very scared. I’m scared of getting hurt. But, he is worth it. If I stick this out and everything works out I think I’ll be happy with him. No he still hasn’t broken up with his girlfriend but you know…he will one day. She doesn’t treat him right. He deserves much better. he’s a Taurus. Taurus’ know when enough is enough. And they don’t look back. 

-He makes me happy. Hopefully, I make him happy too. I think we could go pretty far. But, I’m not gunna think about that. We’ll go where we go. No commitments, no labels. Just two people, with deep feelings, enjoying each other as much as they can.

So yea thats all I got to before I got interrupted by police telling me to go back to my dorm. So far I like where this change is headed. It’s about time I start living and stop laying in bed and doing absolutely nothing with my life.

 *Sandra*