End of Day wrap up + edit+

Okay, so it ended up being a productive day in the end.  I got a lot accomplished:

-laundry
-shower
-dropped off prescriptions
-had blood tested
-got a professor’s signature to drop a class
-talked with a recorder about my transfer from film to art history
-did all of my readings for tomorrow
-wrote a letter to a friend
-updated my photos on facebook
-ran a mile
-200 crunches
-pampered myself and painted my nails a pretty icy blue

All in all, it was productive day, no?

There were only a couple of snags in the day, but I never panicked once! 

1) They were out of my anxiety meds, so I have to wait until tomorrow to get them (Hopefully won’t lose concentration before then)
2) I tried to talk to my art history advisor/professor but he was out sick.  He won’t be in for 2 weeks!  I love his class.  I already sent him a get well email.
3) I had to eat with my roomie.  This was the worst part of the entire day.  I’ve gotten used to sitting at the table to eat my meals and I read my book and I pass the time quite well.  Well, we ended up eating together at the same time and we ended up eating in front of the TV and guess what her favorite channel is? THE FOOD NETWORK!  I couldn’t handle it.  I asked her what was on MTV (her other fav channel…anything to get away from the food network while I’m trying to eat my "healthy" dinner)  Then she got herself dessert, a piece of pumpkin pie that she bought with the other roomie.  They’ve been friends for about 10 years.  They bought it together and said I could have a piece if I’d like, but she really emphasized the fact that THEY bought it TOGETHER.  Just made me feel like NOT eating my dinner and curling up with my friend, the ED.  It’s weird how little tiny things make me go running for the disorder.  I fought my way through it silently and ate my dinner.

So far I’ve only had 620 calories today.  A little short of where I wanted to be.  I might try to have an apple and yogurt in a bit and get those cals up to 800, but right now I feel bloated and gross.  I’m glad I went running, even if it was just a mile.  I also keep in mind that with all that errand running, I did a lot of walking around campus.  Yay!

I’m trying.  I’m fighting.  I made it through an entire day of not purging.  I must admit though, that I’ll be happy to have the house to myself for a little bit tomorrow, so I can b/p.

I’m trying to keep busy.  If I let myself do nothing, my mind strays to food, which then strays to what I’ll binge on tomorrow.

My chest has been bothering me a bit.  I’m trying to keep that out of my mind too, otherwise I’ll panic.  It’s probably just my imagination at work anyway, although I am glad I got my bloodtested, just to keep my mind at ease.

Hm…I guess I’ve bored you all enough today.  Good night!

~Rachel

+edit+

I’m up to 775 calories today.  I was reading and getting hungry and rather than obsess about it, I decided that I should just eat something.  It’s not like I was even up to 800 cals yet.  So yay to understanding my own hunger and doing something about it!

+end edit+