Numb

That is how I’ve been feeling.  Just numb to anyone or anything that is going on around me.  I am still just dealing.  Due to my lack of sleep and immense depression,  I did go to the doctor.  I had labs drawn.she prescribed me some medication for sleep.  Also, a call to the social worker to keep in contact with me over my depression.   Also, counseling,  if I choose.

The labs came back and more stuff.  Can’t win for losing.  Back on the vitamin deficiency train.  Going tomorrow for an infusion and specialty clinic to set up a colonoscopy and EGD.  The fun never ends, I say.  Im also preparing my medical records to apply for the disability again.

Friday, I am taking some “me” time and heading over to stay with the Uncle and Aunt for the weekend.  They miss you as much as I do, Mom.  I am really looking forward to it, just to see them and get out and about a bit.  Even though the weather is supposed to be cooler, should be a good time.  The Aunt already text me and told me she is making her famous sour dough bread.

My thing is.  I am completely lost, Mom.  I miss you so much.  I feel like I’ve lost everything.   I have no one like you.  I miss sitting on the porch with you, watching all the neighbors.  I miss cooking together.  Our coffee and your apple Fritters in the mornings.   Just everything.  The list is long.

I talked with the youngest today.  That is one thing that brings me joy.  Getting to talk to those two.  It always makes me happy when they even just text.  Thank goodness we all keep in touch.

Time for me to go, for now.  I love you, Mom.  I just know you are dancing a jig up there!