her.

i think im going insane. all i do is think about this girl, maybe its childish but i cant take my mind off her, shes like a coquette pulling me and pushing me, we message alot but im always the initiator, i know she cares about me but i dont know how much, its painful to think that in obsessed but i just might be, the way she looks at me when i see her around and the amount of self respect she has for herself as she always looks good.. for me? for someone else? for herself? i do not know, but whom ever it may be that she is trying to impress is one lucky man. maybe its just me seeing the bright side of her thats keeping her on my mind but id atleast want to understand her before my brain starts eating away at itself because of a girl. i guess you could say in a weak man but if only you had experienced her attention you would understand me. alot of people dont understand me so thats why im on here talking about a girl who probably thinks im just another guy trying to get with her for status or for her looks. i used to be very lustful and thtas what destroyed me, i would get with girls who had nothing to offer execpt .. sex. it sounds strange but its the truth, but now ive changed and i want to treat girls with actual love. and i just want to say im 14 so its probably just hormones but that really is how i feel. this is just my feelings i promise im not a freak 🙂