Live. Love. Die.

I’m on spring break! It’s been wonderful and relaxing so far and I don’t ever want it to end.

Yesterday I went over to Dave’s house so that we could scan the internet together for possible future apartments. In the end we decided to stop looking for now because we’ve both already looked at every possibility a million times and are beginning to feel exhausted with our options (every place seems to be missing something that one of us wants and if it’s everything that we want then it’s $1700/month which is about $500/month out of our price range or in an area that we hadn’t agreed on). We did find a few condos downtown that match our criteria but are available for rent right now (so they probably won’t be available during the month of August). We figure we’ll start looking harder as the date gets closer.

We’re also looking into moving into the apartment building that I work at. It has literally everything that we want with the exception of one thing: during the morning commute it could take me as long as an hour to get to school at times. The thought of heavy traffic and an exceedingly long commute stresses me out. I hate driving in rush hour traffic. With that said, because I work there I could turn my paycheck into a tax-free rent credit which would save us money in the long run. AND we’d get first choice of apartments in the building because I work there and get to see them before anybody in the general public does.

In spirit with keeping the excitement up after deciding to put off our search for a couple more weeks, we decided to go furniture shopping (because Dave wants to get rid of all of our hand-me-downs when we move in together. If he wants to buy new furniture I’m not going to argue with him!). We didn’t buy anything because, again, we still have a couple of months before we even need to begin seriously looking. With that said, we both kind of fell in love with this sofa:

 

 

We both agreed that if buying were an option on that day that that’s what would have been purchased. We’d get this ottoman, though:

 

 

Dave said that he would also like a chair, but I don’t know if he meant a recliner-like chair or something like the chair above. Time will tell!

I. am. so. excited.

I’m picturing myself living in the building that I work in. On the top floor we’ll have vaulted ceilings and  thanks to Dave we’ll have almost all new furnishings. I can drink tea on the balcony overlooking the creek to the west or the highrise buildings to the east (depending on which direction our apartment faces).  We can paint (Dave said that’ll be up to me if I really want it done) so I’m imagining the color scheme in the living room, bathroom, our bedroom, and his office. It’s going to be gorgous. And contemporary. And modern.

Goodbye floral sofa and loveseat, goodbye coffee table that Chloe’s stepdad made when he was in high school. Goodbye end tables that my mother first bought 25 years ago.

Yeah, I guess I’ll be screwed if living together doesn’t work out and I get rid of all of my stuff. But I really do have good feelings about living with Dave.

 

Last Saturday Dave texted me from the Western Conference Hockey Association’s final 5 tournament. He, his brother, his brother’s friend, and his brother’s fiance Kate were all there all weekend. Anyway, he texted me because the people sitting next to him weren’t coming to the final (championship) game and had given Dave an extra ticket. He wanted to know if I could come after work. I said that I could; I was pretty excited to get to go!

When I arrived Dave and I said hi, and I said hi to Dave’s brother Dustin. I don’t remember exactly how the conversation went but Dustin said, "Did Dave tell you that I accidentally called you my sister-in-law yesterday?"

uuhh…. lol

Dave was like, "I didn’t want to freak her out!"
I don’t know, I thought it was funny. And flattering. But mostly funny.

 

Alright, last topic of the day: mixing methadone and alcohol.

A guy that I knew from high school, Jason, is hooked up to life support machines in a hospital in Fargo as we speak. He’s 22 years old. I didn’t know him well but having come from a small town I knew him well enough. He was a good student, a very well liked person, and a varsity basketball player from early on in his high school career. He has been going to school at Moorhead State for the last few years and has been living in my old friend Brittany’s apartment building with his friend Matt for at least the last year.

The story: Sunday night Brittany went out with Matt and Jason. Tuesday night she said that she’d been receiving text messages from Matt and Jason telling her to come over to drink with them at their apartment. She had work to do so she didn’t go.

The next morning she swung by their place- I don’t know if it was to make sure that they were ready for class or to just say ‘hey’ but she found them in their apartment covered in vomit. Matt was laying on his side and Jason was choking on his vomit while laying on his back.

I don’t know much of the rest of the story but I do know that Brittany called 911. She had to choose which of them to give CPR to and chose Matt because Jason’s heartbeat seemed stronger.

Matt was up and talking within a few days. He has minimal neurological damage. He’ll fully recover. Things are not looking as good for Jason. Although he’s not brain dead (his pupils do respond to light), his neuro doctor has said that it is unlikely that Jason will ever come out of his coma.

The whole thing just breaks my heart. First, my heart breaks for my friend Brittany who Chloe said last night over the phone told her, "I guess that I should have picked Jason." She feels guilty in some way, even though we all know that there wasn’t anything more that she could have done or should have done differently with the information that she had at the time. Jason’s heartbeat seemed stronger. 

Secondly, my heart breaks for Jason and his family as I can’t even imagine how horribly they must feel.

Thirdly, my heart breaks for the loss. For the waste of a life that shouldn’t have ended so soon. Jason wasn’t a dumb person. He apparently didn’t do his research before he took three pills, watched Matt take two, and then d

rank on top of it but I know that he wasn’t a dumb person. I have no doubt in my mind that it was a case of "it won’t happen to me" that did, in fact, happen to them. And now it seems likely that one of them will pay with their life.

It’s just so awful.

I don’t pray in the way that I was taught to pray as a child. I don’t look to Jesus for help and I generally don’t ask questions because I genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason and that a lot of why things happen I wouldn’t be capable of knowing or understanding anyway. With that said, I’m sending my thoughts with Jason’s family, I’m sending my thoughts with Brittany to help keep her strong, and I’m sending my thoughts to Matt for a speedy recovery.