Trying to understand Bipolar and other conditions

Well it started out with bipolar episode, (unmedicated at the time)

Lots of small clusters of irrational behaviour manic/depressed/manic/depressed/normal and all over the place. Eventually I got diagnosed with it, however I now am wondering

Prior to April this year, I’ve always had not only an ongoing commentary on my life in my head but thoughts and discourses on a hundred other topics ongoing at any one time, however from the start of may, the voices stopped, my internal monologue was gone, no rhyme no reason just gone. This is about the time I was unmedicated and having major problems.

Now I am medicated now (Haloperidol and Lamotrigine) but still the internal monologue, the constant discourse is gone, leaving me feeling empty, like a void without any substance. I have been wondering why. Could this be something else? What if what if what if, that is all I can think of.

I have a Psychiatrists appointment soon, I am keeping a diary of events and feelings I don’t know what he will think or say, I just feel so Isolated. I used to be so decisive, used to be a red cross medic, now I freeze in situations that I would not have frozen in. I am concerned that this is something that might degenerate, become worse. Hmmn

What to do?