Thoughts….

It’s amizing… After 13+ years, We’ve finally scheduled our first date. Like A real one. It’s a camping trip. July 7th. So translating to 07-07-07. Lucky right? well… I am… Either Really Excited or Really Nurvise.. I’ve got butterflies in my stumach, and i feel Really naushious… I know It’s probably a good thing. But I mean, I didn’t feel like this for my wedding. Guess that means, I was right when I say, I don’t think I really Loved the guy I married 6 years ago. Guess that’s also why I could cut the chains and get over the pain easy enough.

I’ve dated, Had F.W.B., and been married/divorced. Know what? After all of it. I think I would deff. Marry again. But I’ll only go though with it if I feel just a little like I do now. I mean I can’t stand the pain in my stumach and It’s still 6 weeks away. I’m trying to think What do I need???? And Is there anything I might Forget? Well, Consous me says,,, All up to date, Tent? Check, Sleeping Bag? Check, Food? Going to order… What else? firewood? We’ll get it then… And it’s like I’m sitting here now thinking is there anything else I might need? Flashlight? Batteries? Songs for my IPod? Nope… I think I have everything. I’m as ready As I can be. But there has to be something else… Something that makes me want to rush time Faster… Like maybe he’ll be in Connecticut sooner and we can go out before our camping trip. There is no way I can say our first date we slept together, So I’m hoping being he’ll be here in like 2 or less weeks, Why during the month we can’t go out a few times. Make me feel better. Besides… I don’t really want to be the girl who Kisses and tells. Exp. Because I’ve known him so dang long. But If things really work out? I’ll give enough info about important stuff. And Sorry Dearly departed F.W.B. If the experience is better then ours… ??? Too bad… LOL! Yes, You know the whole story and we’re still friends and all. But don’t go getting upset if I end up worse off then I already am.

I am Amaized of how true it is, When you love someone you can get past everything no matter how bad or good you’ll really always be together. It isn’t until you test that bond that you learn if You really truely love someone.

I was told I was cheating, I told him to hit the road. I felt feelings were getting involved… I ended it.. (RUDELY!) and I’ve had My sister in law get her dirty grubby hands and stuff in the middle. We diddn’t talk for a year and My life fell apart. Now Of those Three things That’s happened Each with a differant guy. Who would you say I really Truely Love? I say guy #3. Because After these 13+ years, I love him just as much now as I have for as long as I can remember. When You ask me would I leave everything? Depart tomorrow Just to be with him? I’d say, Let me bring my kids and I’ll leave EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE behind to go. I’d leave in 30 minutes. For him I’m always ready to leave. Just jump and go. For most anyone else I’d have to say no to. I can’t say I’d stay somewhere Just because I have family and friends there. But if He’s there? i’ll stick around as long as he wants.

I would put my life on hold. But He’d never ask me to. I’d leave everyone and thing I know, But he’d never ask me to. I’d run away with him. But again, He’d never ask me to. I’d shave my head and get tatoos all over myself, But he’d never ask me to. He likes me for who I am and What I’ve always been. When I put makeup on, NO matter why, He gets upset. I’m only aloud to be pretty for him! Thank goodness because I hate make-up.

K there’s todays thoughts. 6 weeks away is our first real date. Unless we get to go out a time or two before that. So pole going around asking if You think I’ll be sleeping with him…

Krystal says -Yes

Josh says -Yes

Dad says -I don’t want to think about what you Two might be doing!

Rob says- yes

Mom says -probably not, We respect eachother too much.

Marcia says -don’t worry about that now or at all. When the time comes.

I say,,, I don’t know… Depends on what happens. *I agree with my mom and Marcia. They seem to know me well enough. Even though it’s been 13+ years of friendship. Doesn’t mean we HAVE to do anything Then. I can keep waiting if I want to….

Type Later… Keep in touch for Further Junky blogs about my personal junk with the guys. and my Obsessions… LOL! That’s for you Krystal!