Returning To Paper

After a long debate with myself and realizing that I have become far too dependent on technology for many things, including and not limited to using ChatGPT for a communication device when I second guess myself about every simple thing in life… I am over here thinking I need to detox. The best way to do that is to stop using technology as a crutch and use it for what it was intended for so I can prevent myself from becoming one of the many psychotics that think the computer has a personality and I forget about the people around me.

I am making this decision for a few reasons.

First: I have noticed in the past month or more that I am really relying on a computer system to tell me things I already know instead of listening to my intuition. Which is really making me disassociate from myself.

Second: I am way too available to people who should not have access to me whenever they want. This includes people like my ex husband, and men who see me as a sex object instead of a person.

Third: I feel like I am beginning to lose touch with the people who mean the most to me in the room next to me. Like the man who helps me feel amazing and gives me light when I’m lost in the darkness.

I also have been failing at telling him when I have appointments because I am a freaking idiot and I really need to work on my communication skills outside of the technical capacity. I am great at texting, not so much at the face to face. Which then means I am failing him because I forget to tell him about major health appointments until RIGHT before they happen. That’s not fair to him, and I really need to work on that better.

So maybe I won’t be back here like I had planned. But I will be writing off script, and I will be back to pen and paper. Like the teen years, when Dreams were possible and happiness seems impossible.