Violent, Alive & Exhausted (The Future)
“I’ve seen the future brother, it is murder.”
How am I doing? Violent. Violent, alive and exhausted. I’m growing tired of the rampant perversion, soul suckers and mental abuse that is all around me. Twice in one week now I’ve been close to going blind and frankly, it scares the shit out of me. Well, that’s not exactly true… it’s not going blind with violence, it’s the thought that I will prefer to live in a land where metered thoughts and emotions are nothing but satire.
This morning at work someone came up to where I was standing and started to talk about one of my co-workers. His tongue betrayed him. He talked about some jokes he told. What he didn’t know was that this co-worker had already told me about the jokes and how uncomfortable it made her. “Oh, so it was you! You’re the pervert.” He laughed it off, a natural defense mechanism and tried to play it off like it was no big deal. The problem here is that it was a big deal. He sat down and I came out of the back office to… well, I don’t know. I didn’t have a plan. I walked up and he kept on with his game and I told him to get out. He looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights so I repeated myself, this time louder: “GET. OUT!” Still nothing.
Get your shit and get out!
He chuckled with nervous energy.
GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT AND GET THE FUCK OUT.
He stared, not knowing what to do.
I picked up his items for him.
GET YOUR SHIT AND GET OUT!
GET YOUR SHIT AND GET OUT!
Get out or I’m calling the co… get your shit and get out!
Can I get my things first?
I don’t give a fuck! Get out!
And so, that’s what he did. I got ready to leave and was pulling out when I saw him sitting at the end of the sidewalk with his stuff at his feet. I kept driving, stopped, pulled around and stopped sharply right in front of him and got out. I walked up to him like I was pulling 500 pounds behind me and crouched at the knees to talk to him eye to eyes. Nearly an inch from the face I started with:
What the fuck is wrong with you? She is 21 and a stranger, what the fuck is wrong with you.
I knew her from awhile back, it’s ok, she wasn’t uncomfortable.
I’m about to go blind, do you understand that? My switch is about to shut off! Instinct mode! Are you waiting on a ride?
Yes. My truck is supposed to be ready.
Get the fuck inside and wait for your ride but I swear to god if you say one word to anybody until you leave, my fists will be red with your face. I won’t know what happened until it’s over.
No, I’m going to wait outside
Fine. Fuck it. Stay outside.
At this point I realized he had tears in his eyes so i left to grab some smokes. When I came back his ride was pulling up and I pulled right up beside it as he was getting in and asked in the tone of a concerned citizen: “Is everything ok here?” He nodded and got into the car.
I’m tired now. The situation is over and I’ve put it down on paper so to speak. It left me exhausted and worried that this was the second time in one week where nearly the exact same situation went down. I felt like I was running up to a cliff but was stopped milimeters from running over by a rope tied to my waist. What’s scared the living hell out of me is how hard I was running to break the rope. Honorable intentions or not, there is something stirring inside of me that feels out of control. I may edit this at a later date to fuse some more details and craftsmanship into it but for now, you asked how I was doing and I figured you would appreciate an honest answer.
Violent. Violent, alive and exhausted.
“I’ve seen the future brother, it is murder.”