cool wolves, and Lemony Snickets.

“They are a pack of wolves. They travel in groups.” ~ 6th grade teacher

Kids do remind me of that. As soon as one says something, they all chime in. Get them by themselves and they are okay. Get them in a group and suddenly they have an audience. Sometimes I want to forget I’m a teacher and sit in the back row. I want to be in that place–not caring, knowing nothing more matters than just bouncing down the hall. Passing notes, worrying about opening my locker, hating math class. Reading a book with the moral “You can do anything you want to!!!” It’s all so simple. Class change, 300 kids in the hall rushing, calling “remember to push in your chairs!” racing to grab the book that is just about to fall of the desk, stooping to pick up a piece of forgotten paper, a book that is pushed under a chair, calling “Wait, Meranda! You need to get your homework! You’ll be absent tomorrow…” Seeing Tom rush in to be the first one in the room…for next period. Groaning as I know I have to somehow get him to wait outside. “Ms. K., I have a problem, I need….” “Tom, not now, wait until Scott is out of the room….” Helping Scott pick up his books that have scattered across the room, listening as he whines “Devin called me a *insert rather comical name here* as he left the…” Turning around and bumping into Tom “Ms. K., I have a problem, I need…” Torn between having the energy again to correct him and tell him to wait in the hall, thoughts running through my mind that I should get Scott more organized…”Hey Scott, stop in 8th period and I’ll help you organ…” Watch as Scott pushes out of the room, not hearing the offer for help. Turning to Tom to see what his problem is as 18 more rowdy 6th graders push their way in for the next period. Turn around and look at my desk as a refuge but already notice Jamie, Jake, and Lindsay crowded around it, needing something. Tom again saying, “Ms. K., I have a problem, I have a toothache, I think I have cancer in my…”, sighing with exasperation, glancing at the kids not finding their seats, reminding them that they need to do bellwork for the 100th time this year, writing a note for Tom to go to the nurse while Jamie says “I’m having a bad day, Ms. K.” Patting her on the shoulder with one hand, writing with the other, telling her to sit and talk later, pushing Tom out the door as one child calls loudly “I have to go to the bathroom!” Little lights go on in all heads as one by one kids chime in “I have to go to the bathroom…” A wolf pack. Wanting to grab a children’s book and hundle in the back row calling, “I need to go to the bathroom too.”

I honestly don’t know what I thought 6th grade would be like. So different from high school. I like that they do the work I ask. I like that the challenges they give me are easily corrected (for the most part). I like that I get to teach literature that is about the good and happily ever after and the you can do anything. I like having an excuse to go into the young adult and children’s section of the bookstore and I like having an excuse to go home with contents from the young adult and children’s section of the bookstore.

I don’t like feeling as if nothing I do matters. I don’t like parents challenging me and making me feel as though I can’t teach worth a darn. I don’t like being put in a box that I can’t get out of. I don’t like not having the resources I need to function day to day.

I’m existing right now. I’ll start living tomorrow.