Ches 8, 1492 – Robyn’s Journal (On the Road Day #1)

This morning was horrible. Everything is all messed up. I think Granyt abused Essy. I think…I think he did bad things to her that weren’t like the things Robyn and I do. I think she’s broken. I can feel the emotions from this morning welling up. Robyn left camp. Didn’t even say anything to us. I think he’s still angry with me. I want to talk to both of them but everyone is hurting. I don’t think we said two words to each other today. I caught a rabbit for dinner, but I’m not even hungry anymore. Errdy tried to feed me. Such a good bird. I feel like warmed over death, like part of me is so cold that it’s frozen. I…I’m going to force the words tomorrow, If I want them to talk I have to be willing to talk to them first.

Last night was so…perfect. I can’t stand this ride we’re on. One moment everything is so wonderful and amazing, and then one of us just…fucks it up! UGH! I hate this! I hate everything! I hate this stupid curse, and not being able to spend all day with Robyn and I hate this stupid birth control and Ambrosi, and the stupid laws of these stupid cities. (tears have discoloured the pages here, but the ink is fine)

I need rest. Please make tomorrow better, I don’t know who I’m supposed to ask for that, but whatever powers watch over stupid girls like me…just…make tomorrow better.