My Boyfriend’s Stress – Entry 5

I can’t help but think that I’m the cause of a lot of my boyfriend’s stress. He’s been overwhelmingly stressed recently because of school, and “personal” problems, as he put it. I can see how this is affecting him. He’s been dryer with his messages, not calling me as often, and not wanting me over as much. I can’t help but think that he’s pushing me away purposefully, and isn’t telling me. I love him, and the thought of me unintentionally hurting him makes me sick. I can’t help but come to the conclusion that he’s losing feelings. However, whenever I’m with him, he completely reassurances me that he still loves me by acts of kindness and love. For example, before I went over his house while he was sick a few days ago, he told me that he didn’t want any physical touch or to be close, which I completely understood. When I got to his place, I sat down and a few minutes later he gestured me over, and pulled me in for a long hug. This was completely reassuring, as I didn’t even ask for him to do so. Still, I can’t shake the feeling that I might be causing him stress. We have fights sometimes, nothing bad, usually over petty things, but we always turn out fine in the end. However, I can tell that these fights are building up on him, he’s even told me so himself. I don’t know what to do. I want him to be happy, but the selfish part of me wants him to stay with me no matter what. He says he doesn’t want to break up, so I hope he stays true to that. Anyway, I always ask him if he wants help because of how stressed he is, but he always declines. I’m unsure what to do about this, but I hope it gets better.

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