Misconceptions

When she sees me I want her to see the word limitless. That all these possibilities are open to her if she just lets me know whats going on in her beautiful mind. How do you consider something if you don’t know if it’s even a possibility? That’s why I want communication… I want her to see where I am and I want to see where she is on whatever there is to know. I don’t like speculating that much…. You know those questions where they ask you what you would do in this kind of situation. Then you have to speculate and judge your own character. I hate those just because I really don’t know the answer to most of them and I don’t know if I am right when I do answer. Cause if I am wrong and it does happen I feel like I’ve lied to the person. I don’t really care that much but its an uneasy feeling… but for the sake of learning about yourself and kind of seeing how you see yourself is a neat thing that comes out of those questions. You see there is a good side and a bad side to many things. I just want her to ask me about everything and see my ideas on them… cause I do want to share…I want to know what she is interested in and whats on her mind. I wouldn’t be in this relationship with her if I didn’t.

I guess the reason I became a person that waits to tell people things about myself until they ask or express that they want to know; is because I am guessing that I gave “TMI” (too much information) to someone. I was dating this person and I bought this book that asks you all these questions about yourself and you write them in there. I figured that it would be a fun way for her to learn more about me…so I gave it to her for a Christmas gift. She read it and then threw it in my face. Not literally but just went off on me and told me that I was weird. We all know how that story ended. Anyways… I got the book back and handed to a friend of mine to see if it was just her or if everyone would think I was odd. My friend read it and found it really interesting and funny. That lifted my spirits but still somewhere inside me I felt as though it wasn’t the same. After all it was my friend not my girlfriend who enjoyed it. That’s why I’m not a go out and tell everyone how I feel and think kind of person. I figure that if they want to know they will ask.

We all have reasons that we do the things we do… why some of us are open and some closed. I’m not open but I’m not closed… all I need is a knock to let me know you are there and that you care enough to see me. Its hard sometimes… you don’t know what you are opening to but if you learn to tell people why you are there and tell and show where you are coming from then it isn’t hard to be open…