"every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. if we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world"

After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own gardens and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong, and you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn, with every goodbye you learn...

i'd rather not know where i'll bethan be alone and convinced that i know
until finally, there's no shame,Amanda

Latest Entry

Welcome back, OD

February 21, 2018
When the DM announced he was shutting down OD back in 2014 I was angry. Livid. He had abandoned us so long ago anyway and now he was not only checked out but robbing us of our home. I was angry for a long time and eventually I realized I was also broken-hearted. OD had…
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Recent Entries

  • Goodbye…
    February 5, 2014
    I have been writing here since I was thirteen years old. I can't even begin to describe the way my life has changed.  Its bittersweet. I haven't downloaded my diaries and I am not going to. I wasn't always as happy as I am now and all the things I need to remember I do…
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  • I think I might be done… *edit*
    October 12, 2012
    *Edit* I'm pretty sure i'm FB friends w/ all of you, but if not, please add me. facebook.com/amandacolene OD seems to be going up and down a LOT lately and i don't want to lose contact w/ any of you. hell follow me on twitter if you're so inclined: twitter.com/pickleslut (follow at your own risk....
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  • *sigh*
    October 9, 2012
    i come here every single day and start typing up an entry and I'm just continually unable to get more than a paragraph before giving up. 
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  • a story of nine months (in a few short paragraphs)
    May 10, 2012
    I honestly can't believe that I haven't written here since August. Have I ever been away from here for so long? It feels strange to look at the gaps between my last few entries: one month, two months,  three months and then mostly every few days before that. I don't know why I stopped coming,&hel...
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